How to Impress People

  1. Drive a 26-foot Santa Clause float.
  2. Print business cards with “Ambassador to Arkhaministan”. When asked where that country is, say: “Right between Murkhistan and United Republic of Tuaniman”.
  3. When asked what you do, reply: I’m a astrocosmometaphysicist, part-time brain surgeon as well as a shameless terraforming hobbyist. What do YOU do?”
  4. Wear a large bald eagle feather hat, mandragore root perfume, white tiger shirt, panda fur pants, baby seal socks and galapagos turtle shell shoes.
  5. Talk about real estate trends on Phobos.
  6. Tell that really funny anecdote about your experience on genetic mutations of monkey-men.
  7. Brag about reading