Killer Robot 5000 Pro

Customer Support: Dawson Robotics. How may I help you

Client: Hi, I just bought the Killer Robot 5000 Pro and there seems to be a problem with it.

Customer Support: Can you speak louder, sir? I can barely hear you.

Client:  I can’t. I’m hiding in the closet with my family and the robot is looking for us.

Customer Support: Can you describe the problem sir?

Client:  Well, I can’t stop the damn robot.

Customer Support: Did you press the STOP button on the remote control?

Client:  The first thing the robot did when I turned it on was to blast the remote with its laser.

Customer Support: Did you try the OFF switch in the back of the robot?

Client:  I can’t. It’s moving too fast and it’s firing that damn laser.

Customer Support: Did you install “Do not kill the humans” upgrade?

Client:  The what? No. I didn’t.

Customer Support: Well sir. In that case, you’ll have to wait for the robot to run out of power.

Client:  How long will it take?

Customer Support: About 18 months.

Moral of the story: always read the instructions carefully. Oh, and don’t buy a Killer Robot 5000 Pro.