Things you don’t want to hear from your commanding officer in a war.

  1. Backups will soon arrive… as long as the injured blind pigeon delivers our help message.
  2. Don’t worry about being out of ammo. You all know wrestling, right?
  3. Hi all! I’m Jeff and I’ll be your masseur / commanding officer. Who’s first for an oil body rub?
  4. OMG! You’ll look fabulous in those uber cool sparkly one piece!
  5. For your protection, you’ll all wear glow-in-the-dark suits.
  6. I know every troops that went there died a painful death, but this time it might be different!
  7. The force is very strong in our enemy. Let’s all pull our our plastic light saber!
  8. Our clothes are all wet. Quick, everyone naked!
  9. Lets poison their wells, dismember their corpses and tear the rest apart with our teeth, arrrggghhh!
  10. Believe in Xenu and you’ll live!
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About admin

I’m from a long line of space aliens that were dropped here to observe and report.

I’m also a atheist graphic designer/web developer from Toronto.