Ultra-Portable People

As an employer, did you ever wish to stack more workers per cubic foot?

As a circus manager, did you ever want to fit even more clowns into a clown car?

As a bus driver, did you ever wish to triple the number of passengers?

Now we have a solution to those dire needs!

Introducing DelQuirk’s Ultra-Portable People. By safely collapsing bones, neatly folding muscles, removing most of the fat tissues and dehydrating most of the rest, we can now reduce people’s body’s volume by up to 72%!

Best of all, their physical appearance will stay somewhat similar to what it was before the procedure! They will just be smaller!

Now also available: foldable dehydrated pets! Just add water!