Next time you are at a social gathering and someone ask you the “What do you do?”, have a little fun with it.

• I’m a geneticist and I’m working on mating rhinos with gerbils.
• I pile cardboard boxes.
• I dream, rest and sometimes yawn.
• I’m second in charge of a partial committee working on temporary groups.
• I’m a plastic surgeon to the rich & famous. I worked on Michael Jackson’s nose.
• I’m a cheerleading coach for overweight middle-aged men.
• I’m a meeting-filler. I dress up in a suit and go to meetings for different companies — I nod and pretend to take notes.
• I’m a organ-philanthropist. Care for a used spleen?
• I’m a pre-embalmer. I start embalming clients while they are alive to save time. My friends thought it was too creepy. Want to be my friend?