10 Bad Things about Zombies

It is pretty clear by now that zombies have an overall lack of decorum and good manners:

Not the most polite
A simple “thank you” after munching on your brain goes a long way.

Awful postures
Would they kill them to stand straight?

Dangerously outdated sense of fashion
Lot’s be honest here: they look awful — unless they were bitten during a fashion show, of course. In that case, you have can have some fabulous looking zombies.

Poor personal hygiene
Would it be too much to ask for them to shower once in a while?

Atrocious table manners
Ever seen one use a fork and knife when eating? What about as napkin?

Lack in communications skills
I’m sorry, but when did “grrr” and “arrrhhgg” become an acceptable form of communicating?

Total disregard for private property
They break windows, enter private properties willy-nilly, and certainly never respected the “Keep off the grass” sign.

Don’t play well with others
Eh zombies, ever heard of sharing? When you catch someone, leave some for your buddies — They are starving too you know!

Anger prone
You never see a mellow zombie — they always seem angry for some reason.I wonder if Arctic Zombies are more peaceful?

Alarmingly wasteful
They seem to never care about wasting perfectly good body parts. They will your brain but will leave your perfectly good arms arms intact. Shameful.


Thanks to my deliciously quirky wife for her help on this one.