Micro-marathon
A 23-foot race for people with no endurance

Wide Jump
With both feet together, the athlete who jumps the further sideways wins.

Sliding Pole Vaulting
Like traditional Pole Vaulting, but with the pole completely covered in grease… and without a mat.

Trap Football
Like regular football, but with a special floor that includes trap doors, trampoline patches, random fire and the occasional release of rabid wild boars.

Pea Pushing Marathon
With only a straw in your mouth, you have to blow on a pea for 42 miles.

Extreme Speed Swimming
Covered in food sludge, you have to cross a piranha-infested river.

Monster Truck Polo
Finally, a less aristocratic version of Polo!