10 things to break the mood in bed

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  1. Speak like Yoda or Scooby Doo.
  2. “You’re so sexy. You look like your mom!”
  3. Make your grocery list out loud.
  4. “I think I saw a cockroach in the bed!”
  5. During oral sex: “Ever wondered about cannibalism?”
  6. “You’re my number 100 this year! We have to celebrate this!”
  7. “I’m not sure I took my birth control pills. Oh well, you’ll know soon enough.”
  8. Ask him to triple-bag for his protection.
  9. “Don’t worry, I’m sure your parents can hear us.”
  10. “Can you keep your clothes on?”