The only deceases you need

Inflation of the cerebrum caused by the bite of the Anamorphicus Rei mosquito. The substance contained in the saliva of that mosquito can increase your IQ by 80 to 100 points overnight. Warning: cranial explosions due to repeated doses can mess up your living room.

Peni Gigantis
The terrible affliction of suddenly getting a huge male organ. Can be embarrassing if carried by a woman. This non-hereditary trouble activates most frequently when a seratonin surge saturates the hypothalamus, such as meeting an aesthetically-pleasing person in an nightclub.

Hyper symmetry
A cerebral cortex imbalance that enhances greatly your physical symmetry, thus making you more appealing. Warning: can be cured by squinting really hard, drooling, spitting on the sidewalk, a lack of education and the frequent use of swearwords.