Top 10 signs you shouldn’t be dating that person

  1. She’s physically abused by her imaginary friends.
  2. Both her parents are mentally-unstable proctologists.
  3. He’s a cult leader and lives in a armed desert compound.
  4. His family members have more guns than teeth.
  5. You see most of her family on the FBI Terror Watch.
  6. He arranged your first date in a slaughterhouse — and he doesn’t work there.
  7. You saw fingernails marks on his door and blood splatter on his curtains.
  8. She constantly yelling and barking at people you can’t see.
  9. He think he’s a vampire that sparkles in the sunlight.
  10. You met her online in a violent psychopath forum.
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I'm from a long line of space aliens that were dropped here to observe and report. I'm also a atheist graphic designer/web developer from Toronto.