Not a good sign

  1. Your date finds your intestinal parasite much more charming than you.
  2. Your parents like your imaginary friend better than they like you.
  3. Your boss has a better relationship with outsourced tech support person #1232 from Bombay than with you.
  4. You apply for a modeling job and they hire you as the before shot.
  5. You drop your son at the daycare and the other kids run and scream when they see you.
  6. Your cat cuddles with the scratch post and scratches you.
  7. Your Parkinson is so bad that you appear blurry.
  8. Your Tourette Syndrome is so bad people are surprised when you don’t swear.
  9. Your weight gain is so out of control you have to hurry out of the elevator not to get stuck.
  10. Your body noises are so loud people frequently ask you to speak louder.