- Your date finds your intestinal parasite much more charming than you.
- Your parents like your imaginary friend better than they like you.
- Your boss has a better relationship with outsourced tech support person #1232 from Bombay than with you.
- You apply for a modeling job and they hire you as the before shot.
- You drop your son at the daycare and the other kids run and scream when they see you.
- Your cat cuddles with the scratch post and scratches you.
- Your Parkinson is so bad that you appear blurry.
- Your Tourette Syndrome is so bad people are surprised when you don’t swear.
- Your weight gain is so out of control you have to hurry out of the elevator not to get stuck.
- Your body noises are so loud people frequently ask you to speak louder.