Resurectionnist
The noble profession of providing biological experimental canvasses for the hippocratic professionals. Vulgarly called corpse peddlers.

Pau-de-Arara
The art of bringing mental extasy to someone by carefuly suspending them upside-down and caressing them gently with a wooden paddle. Also involves taking them closer to the elemental nirvana by applying a thin hydrated cloth over their breating apparatus.

Necrocryozoophilia
The act of being sexually attracted to frozen chicken.

Astrology rests on the principle of cosmic rays-induced DNA mutation.

The planetary gravitational field, along with the magnetic field, are combining their effect to reflect cosmic and gamma rays in a specific angle depending on the orbital path at the time of birth.

For example, if Jupiter is Virgo, that particular planetary/constellation alignment deflects and amplifies the amount of radiation received by humans chromosome during their most vulnerable stage — birth. Human beings being born between August 23 and September 22 are subject to the influence of a specific amount of radiation on their DNA.

The particular amount of cosmic and gamma rays exercises more control over adjacent proteins and rizomes in the peptide chain of the person’s DNA. The threshold of influence can be divided in 12 equal sectors of peptide modifification.

This gets translated by a person being more analytical, meticulous, intelligent, responsible, reliable and perfectionistic, even more, refined, polite and hygienic.

The same principle can be applied to every astrological sign, based on precise angular calculation and quantification of cosmic and gamma rays.

Immolation
Based on a desire to know what the marshmellow feels like while roasting in the campfire, immolation is the act of transforming onself into an inspiring lighthouse, using only gasoline and matches.

Defenestration
A sudden need for fresh air is encouraging you to jump out the window and try to fly like a bird. Free at last! (from the French word “fenêtre” — literally, “Out of the window”.

Trepanation
The gentle act of slowly drilling a hole in your head to release the pressure. This should stop those voices from barking orders in your head.

1. If Mozart had access to music sequencer, sampler and a good laptop, how different would have been his music?
2. If Genghis Khan had access to tanks, planes and machine guns, would we speak Mongolian in North American in 2008?
3. If Mithra (pre-christian persian god) had access to a good marketing team with TV and radio ads, would we celebrate a different holiday on December 25 of each year?
4. If the Internet had been around in the 1500s, would it have helped fight censorship and ignorance in the population of the “dark age”?
5. If the industrial revolution would have happened 1000 years earlier, would we live on a cleaner or on a totally devastated planet?

1. One of the guys gets handcuffed and naked. He then gets tattoed by 7 epileptic blind midgets.
2. 3 of the guys wearing bunny suits enter the carcass of a beached whale after loading it with TNT. The rest of the gang detonates it and laugh hysterically.
3. The whole gangs disguised themselves with fake robes, beards and explosive belts. They enter the Pentagone while screaming “Don’t shoot, we are just actors”, in arabic.
4. The whole gang goes to play poison dart blowguns in a small room after their brains had been surgically replaced by monkey brains. Nobody notice a difference.

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“Reality is crossing an energy river by stepping on quantum rocks”

“Wisdom comes from knowing the limits of your own reality”

“Consciousness is to evolution what wisdom is to purpose”

“Logos without pathos is ethos-coated eros”

Quotes by DeliciouslyQuirky.com

Pets in Sweater

Nothing but 120 monthly glossy pages of pets in sweaters. This month: chinchillas in leather, goldfish in 100% wool jumpsuit and hamsters in turtlenecks.

Modern Yeti

Everything you ever wanted to know about the Yeti, including who he is dating, his favorite wine, his dream vacation destination, his life’s challenges and more!

Transylvanian Interior Decorating Ideas

What to do when a group  Night Walkers come for brunch? How to serve cold cuts to the living dead? What cheese goes well with A- blood? You’ll thank this monthly publication when you want to look good for your non-reflective neighbors!

Gullible Monthly

This month GREAT offer: buy the skull of Elvis as a child, how to get rich by sending us your money, 5 ways to loose weight by eating only delicious bacon fat and 25 great tips on getting your dreamhouse for free.

If you were transported back in time to, lets say, 1000CE or even 1500CE, how much of the 2008 knowledge could you explain? How many machines could you rebuild? How useful could you be as a person from the future? How much of your world could you explain to them? How different do you think you would be from them in your knowledge and belief system?

Could you explain to them:

1. Our monetary/banking system?
2. Our social structure and who is really in charge in 2008?
3. Our understanding of the solar system and the universe?
4. The major advancements or science in the past 100 years?
5. Basic knowledge on the human body?
6. How the modern car, train and planes work?
7. How our phone, TV, Microwave over, cell phone work?
8. What a computer is and does in term they would understand?

Could you build:

1. A rudimentary transportation device with a steam engine?
2. A telegraph to help them communicate?
3. A telescope, miscroscope or sextant?
4. A crane to help them build?

It is common knowledge that we only use 10% of our brain. What would you do if you had access to the full 100%? Would you write 3 symphonies before breakfast? Solve the climate change problem before lunch? Eraditate poverty and decease before the end of the day?

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1. Modify your DNA to become bioluminescent.
2. Implant subcutaneous receptors to change your skin colour at will. Lime green and sky blue hues will impress the most.
3. Carry a small speaker behind your head to repeat a whispered and slightly delayed version of your speech.
4. Travel with trained doves and every few minutes, start a sentence by: “According to the prophecy…”
5. Float 2 inches from the ground by wearing magnetic levitation shoes.
6. Travel with a genetically modified black dog to look like Cerberus, the 2-Headed-Dog-From-Hell and a mini-smoke machine.
7. Build an Aztec sacrificial altar in your office.
8. Ride a Grizzly bear to work.
9. Travel slow-motion with an entourage of leather-clad shaved-head sunglasse-wearing pale-faced giants.

Join our cult and roam the city at night. Not a people person? Don’t worry! Simple groans and window smashing are fine by us. You’ll appreciate our dressed-down attitude and open moral . Our motto is: If it moves, you can eat it!
The best thing: we are protected under the Freedom of Religion! It means you can tell people that you are a flesh-eating night scavenger and they have to respect your beliefs!

There is a widening knowledge chasm and we see a prevalence of simpler belief systems.

Before the advent of modern science, you could define the known reality in simple terms. You saw the Sun, the Moon, and rain — you felt the wind. Explanations for natural phenomenon were scarse.

As science evolves and complexifies itself, the general populace is less and less in touch with that “refined reality”. Ask people in the streets what is trigonometry and most people will tell you” it’s something you learn in school and it was boring”, without being able to elaborate much.

Now ask them what is a 6D Manifold, a virtual black holes, quantum computers, super string theory, or the benefits of nanotechnology. My guess is that you’ll get a lot or perplexed looks and no answers.

It seems some countries, such as the USA, have a significant part of their population dropping out of the complexification and reverting to simpler explanations. Instead of keeping with the ever developing branches of sciences, we hear the “God made it” explanation very often. Sometimes, it is disguised as pseudo-science as in the Creation Science and its spinoff, Intelligent Design.

What will happen in 50 years, when our understanding of the natural worl in 1000 more complex and layered as now? Will 80% of the population still practice superstitious rituals and not have a clue how things around them work? I think so.

Here are a few questions to help define what reality you live in. This is useful before starting a debate on human evolution, cosmology, history, religion, science, etc.

1. Do you believe the answers to everything are contained in a single book, written at least 2000 years ago?
2. Do you believe the Earth was formed less than 6000 years ago?
3. Do you believe in the laws of physics (gravity, electromagnetism, etc)?
4. Do you believe certain entities defy laws of physics?
5. Do you accept strange things and concepts because someone told you so, without seeking explanation or second opinions?
6. Do you believe in angels, giants, gosts, unicorns, leprecauns, hobbits, gnomes, etc
7. Do you consider science and scientists test their hypothesis and arrive at conclusion based on evidence, as impartially as possible?
8. Do you consider science and scientists are anti-God, liars, or evil?
9. Are you convinced you’ll spend 12 trillions years at least in paradise because you fulfilled 1 of the 8 conditions cited in the Bible (accepting Jesus as your savior)?
10. Do you believe everybody that doesn’t believe in the same god as you do, or use a different version of the book, or believe in a slightly different version of your religion will burn on hell forever?

If you answer yes to those questions, then any rational discussion with someone outside your group is very difficult.

1. I’m the hostage taker. Can John call you back as soon as I untie him?
2. Mr. Smith is not here but I’m naked and full of peanut butter. What are you wearing?
3. Mrs Monroe is not there, but may I interest you in Scientology?
4. I’m not doing so well… I just lost my job, my wife left with my
   6 kids, I was told last week I have AIDS and my dog died this morning.
   Can I help you with something?
5. What’s your home address? I’ll visit you tonight to get more information.

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How do you prove that God exist?

How do you prove aliens are real?

Even is you discover a proof of those things, what would constitute an irrefutable proof? If you take a photo or a video of a real UFO, people will say it’s a trick.

Your job, competences or background might also hinder your proof. If you are a professional photographer or graphic designer and you present a photo as proof of a miracle from God, or an Alien invasion, people will discredit it.

If you have a criminal background or have been caught lying, people will assume the proof is not real.

With the raise of technology power and ease, proofs will be harder to come by.

The children story of Jack and the Beanstock is really about humanity’s longing for a connection with God.

Jack represents the humans on earth, spiritually empoverished by the distance they created between themshelves and God.

One day, they get a magic bean — the seed they can grow to create a spiritual bridge to reach God.

They plant the seed in their heart and watch it grow beyond the clouds. They climb the beanstock and reach a castle in the Clouds (God’s Kingdom). Instead of being joyful to be in the presence of the divine, they steal from God.

Because of their arrogance and disbelief, the connection with God is lost again (they cut the beanstock).

Next time, we’ll explore the deep metaphysical root of the Little red Riding Hood, dating back to Ancient Egypt and the Mystery Religions.

As seen on TV!

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I want the old future!!! Not the current future!

I do want my jetpack, dome city, robot maid, flying car, underwater city, silver jumpsuit, ray gun, moon shuttle, sleep pod, meal in a pill and all.

I don’t want the future lead by pharmaceutical and other large corporations, sponsored and manipulated politicians, energy-saving freaks not knowing that fossil fuel companies control a large portion of politics, omnipresent and privacy-intrusive marketing monsters…

Not to be negative or anything, but in 1000 years, you’ll still have people in caves carrying old russian rocket launchers on their mules, believing in an archaic code of conduct based on a mythlogical god.

Ahhhh! The future! Which one do you like?

1. Change the basic assumptions of the universe.
2. Triangulate my cereal bowl using its own shadow.
3. Transmutate Silly Putty into lemon Jell-O.
4. Create, test and prove a whimsical version of the String Theory called the SillyString Theory.
5. Lunaform the Earth and Terraform the Moon. Move everybody to the new moon in their sleep and check if anyone notice the switch.
6. Find a cure to OverSeriousness by splicing Jeans into Daisy Dukes.
7. Write a Unified Theory Equation that would prove the existence of Nessie.
8. Convert myself to silicate-based lifeform.
9. Change the value if Pi from 2.1416 to to 2.1532. Observe the difference and giggle.
10. Change the structure of the Milky Way to have Earth at the center.

Synaptic Interfaced (Though-controlled) toys and interface are already being developed in lab in 2007. With more interest, research and funding, you’ll see thought visual association in a few years, resulting in a graphic representation of your thoughts.

At first, it will be coarse — the castle you think about will be represented by a generic castle image.

Later, the image will represent your thoughts in a more detailed way, including shapes, colours, motion, camera angles and transitions.

The “MindReaders” we had in the past were heavy headsets, with primitive electrodes that required gel to interface. Today, NeuroSky Inc. developed a dry electrode much smaller headset. In the future, no headset will be required as remote readers will be developed.

Applications for MindReading will emerge. Military and marketing will be the most funded, although medical applications with Autism, Coma, and paraplegic patients will also exist.

Military applications will be able to sense the intentions of the enemy. Even without a working long distance remote MindReader network, the first versions will use local readers based in small drones (flyers, crawlers, swimmers, etc) capable of accessing exact location where a suspect is. Coupled with the merged NSA, FBI and CIA databases, these MindReading applications will put the thoughts in context of the information known.

One application that will exist but be frown upon is the MindTapping (listening, flagging and cross-referencing of thoughts) of civilians by government agencies in the name of homeland security. Random thought sweeps will be executed and will serve as basis for further investigations.

Marketing applications will also be very popular. Stores will use MindReaders to rearrange their catalogue based on the clients moods, preference and shopping.

1. Prices will be adjusted by dishonest merchants based on the urgency of your need (you tried 7 stores for that wedding dress and the store you are in is the last one you can visit before the wedding).
2. Smart fabric and Mindreaders will present you only the colours, styles and prints you like.
3. MindReaders and your car navigation system will point you washrooms and restaurants based on your needs.
4. Thoughts transcripts, images and movies will be archives Google-Thoughts will be the first major company to harvest that new information source.

Legal issues about privacy will arise but the potential for military and marketing will outweigh them with powerful lobbying efforts.

The future is thoughtfully friendly!

1. Find a universal need you can cater to. This will shape your approach; This will be used in your branding/marketing efforts.
2. Name your religion. Find a cool name that sounds ancient, like the Adorators of Hakballah, The VicciCode or Repenters of Atlantis Faith.
3. Find a new interpretation on prevalent existing religious texts OR write a new spiritual reference book that, while maintaining continuity with prevalent existing religions, myths and philosophies, departs from them in a significant way. That new book should be a mix of common sense, basic life experiences, anecdotes, unverifiable claims and hard to pronounce names.
4. Rename yourself. No one will follow Bob Smith, the Archdeacon of Hakballah.
5. As early as possible, find celebrity sponsorship. Don’t worry, it’s not as hard as it sounds. Just buy a newspaper and call celebrities who already sponsor Psychic Hotlines. Offer them $50.
6. Create rituals, dress codes, and greeting gestures.
7. Start your PR early. Attribute miracles to your deity, preferable out-of-phase naturally occuring, statistically insignificant but emotionally charged events.
8. Make claims. It doesn’t matter if they are unproven, false, out of context or irrelevant. See Rael.
9. Speak properly. Practice political talk, mixed with emotionally but non-committal words and spiritual concepts (a spiritual OfficeSpeak): “The transcendence of the non-litteral Word of the Great Luminant is the quintessence of the SubMan archetype“.
10. Be invited to Oprah. We cannot stress this one enough.
11. Create your own media outlet.
12. Make sure your new beliefs are similar enough to others. That way, you’ll gain free press in their media outlets.
13. Create a sound financial model. Make sure all level of worship, social involvement, public appearances, etc bring you money.
14. Enjoy! You now have power over your fellow men & women (whatever your preference is), public opinion, and media. Life is good.

1. Drive a 26-foot Santa Clause float.
2. Print business cards with “Ambassador to Arkhaministan”. When asked where that country is, say: “Right between Murkhistan and United Republic of Tuaniman”.
3. When asked what you do, reply: I’m a astrocosmometaphysicist, part-time brain surgeon as well as a shameless terraforming hobbyist. What do YOU do?”
4. Wear a large bald eagle feather hat, mandragore root perfume, white tiger shirt, panda fur pants, baby seal socks and galapagos turtle shell shoes.
5. Talk about real estate trends on Phobos.
6. Tell that really funny anecdote about your experience on genetic mutations of monkey-men.
7. Brag about reading deliciouslyquirky.com

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1. Everybody is created equal.
2. TV shows are not mere lures for advertisers.
3. You can have an amazing lean sculpted body by using a machine 3 minutes/day for a week.
4. Politics is never about secretive schemes for a few to gain money or power.
5. If it’s printed; it must be true.
6. All events reported on mass media happened as they are telling you.
7. The camera doesn’t lie.
8. Anybody can gain a good grasp of complex issues by watching the TV news.
9. Conflicts are always about non-trivual issues and always the last resort.
10. People who march in the street always fully understand what the issue is.
11. We are not pawns of religion, the government or large corporations.
12. You have a good grasp on reality. Really.

“Bulkering” is a neologism that can be defined as “Putting together several complex ideas, oversimplifying and omitting large portion of the argument, discrediting sources for frivolous reasons, then thinking you have a good grasp on the subject”. “Bulkering” is different from aggregation, clustering, simplification, generalisation or good old “one-track mind”.

Here is how it’s played:

1. Take a complex topic, such as geopolitics, global climate change, space exploration, or the origins of life.
2. Absord the least amount of factual data or in-depth knowledge on the topic as possible.
3. If you can’t avoid information, listen to arguments without weighting them or factoring in the lack of knowledge, the motives, the affiliations or the relevance of the examples presented by the source.
4. Swiftly discredit a source if he/she presents a different point of view, if they have a typo in their book or online post, or if they ever did anything in their past that could cast any doubt in your mind, even if the action was 50 years ago and absolutely non-relevant to the topic, or if they look strange to you. If you find such a flaw, disregard them quickly by using the name of the newly discovered flaw. Example1: He might have a PDH in the relevant field and worked in that field for 50 years, but he’s gay. Example2: Don’t try to impress me with your numbers and big words, because you’re just a drugee (after uncovering that the source smoke pot 30 years ago).
5. Discredit an argument or a theory if any part of it is found to be unproven or false.
6. If anyone argue with you on the topic, be sure to impervious to resonning and snap back with a proverb or a clever line starting by: “my mama always told me…”
7. Sit comfortably and relax. You have a good grip on reality.

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When you try to voice your poorly-though, shallow biaised opinionos and pass it for common facts, ClearThought®, filters it, enhance your arguments with provable hard facts and delivers it in your actual voice. You can now eloquent and be credible!

Order now and receive the Dejargoniser®! That earpiece descrambles the most obsure techobabble and officespeak. It evens works on level 4 marketing cryptic buzzword charades! All you hear is clear, well structured language that makes sense!

We usually associate the word weapon with death or great pain. The goal of of most weapons is not necessarely to permanently destroy the ennemy but to place him under custody for capture trial or interrogation, or for him to stop attacking us. To achieve those goals, one would be better using one of the following non-lethal weapon:

1. High-Velocity Marshmellow Gun: Also available in Pumpkin Puree.
2. Blue Cheese Grenade: Coats the ennemy with blue cheese paste.
   Also come in Mustard, Concentrated Garlic and Rancid Milk.
3. The Sleeper: A loudspeaker whispers Advanced Calculus Thermodynamic Equations with a deep monotonous voice. Also comes in Macroeconomics and “Dissertation on the Abstract Non-Colonialism Aspects of Postmodern Philosophical Existentialism, from the Pseudo non-Involment point of view”.

We could make our bodies better by unblocking the regenerative capabilities (see salamander) in our cells to be able to grow back limbs.

If you have the ability to grow limbs by unlocking functions in the cells… maybe you can send signals to alter the blue print and grow limbs/organs according to new specs, such as changing efficiency , dimensions, appearance, etc. AND at that point, you’ll have companies that will sell cell coding templates to match your favorite celebrity!

Information Architecture and Visualization is getting more and more important since we are exposed to so much data every day.

InfoLife (Internet 3.0) should be a system that can capture, archive, retrieve, sort and display multiformat data in a way that works in real life. That system should be mobile, real-time, simple to use and be able to use human common sense.

Example:
You hear a good song on the radio. You want to remember the song’s name but also know what else the band did and if the band is touring in your city soon.

You are shopping and see a jacket you like in a store. You want to know if another store within a 5km radius that is opened right now has the same item cheaper.

You are meeting someone at a networking event. The face-recognition system starts and display info on that person, along with websearch on what he wrote, companies he worked with, last time you met him, etc.

Those applications are beyond database queries, RSS aggregates or fuzzy logic basic software applications. They provide you with real-time options based on multiple factors weighted by context. They only display relevant information based on your situation, tone, heart rate, time of day, etc.

security: Can record and flag visible and invisible events, daytime, nighttime or any poor visibility in airport, stadiums, warehouses, etc.
scientific: Thousands of WitnessCubes could be placed outside to monitor climate change, iceshelves movements and Rain Forest status
entertainment: The ultimate webcam. Can recreate the visual, audio and olfactive of a remote environment.

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Smart Roads would help drivers in several ways.

1) Heated Pavement would melt the snow and ice, thus reducing the risks and saving millions of dollars each year in snow removal and salting.
2) Phosporescent Pavement would help see the road at night and in fog.
3) Embedded sensors would detect congestion as well as stopped vehicules. A vehicule that is stopped for some time would tragger a response from cameras and emergency crews.

Have a Vampire neighbour that doesn’t respond to garlic? Bigfoot keeps you up all night sining Opera? Maybe you purchased a Troll two years ago and it’s not toilet trained yet?

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In this new religion, you’ll learn that:

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1) Embed in cellphones, PDAs, BlackBerries, MP3 players, and other wearables to emit a frequency that will activate a specific region of the brain that will stimulate the appetite for a brown, bubbly, sugar-loaded acidic cold beverage, or to drive in a manly army-like uncomfortable but aggressive looking vehicle.

2) Develop free clothing items like coats, pants, tshirt, capes and hats that have the ability to connect to a main ad server and display moving ads right on it. (same principle as the ad-sponsored software we have now). All homeless people be wearing warm clothes but will be transformed into walking billboards. Kids will love that fashion too. You can have a scene of a new movie or an cool ad displayed on you clothes…

3) Engineered food that taps into the memory cells to stimulate purchases of products based on your own past (cinnamon buns of your grandmother, grey paste from the highschool cafeteria, etc.)

4) Develop cross promotion packages: the guy on the Crest toothpaste is wearing a visible Timex watch while brushing. He’s also smelling like CK1 perfume on the package. mmm see… alot to possibilities if you want to control people even more… Imagine designing, testing and marketing those products!

5) Dynamic E-Ink packages that are linked to a CrossLinked Marketing Database that call your name when you walk by, suggest a use based on your lifestyle, reminds you of the mess that happened when your used a competitor’s brand…

The future WILL be friendly! 😉

The Ultimate Minimalist House is a 3m x3m x3m white cube with no furniture. Furniture is bad for your Feng Shui. The 5cm x 5cm window can be colourized according to your aura and really make it YOUR space.

This Custom Premium Designer House is ideal for the young professional that eats out, sleep out and entertain out.

I’m wondering how difficult or possible it is to create your own fully legal and recognized country.

Someone did it in 1967. It’s called Sealand and it’s 10km off the coast of England on a small concrete platform built during the WWII (http://www.sealandgov.org/ for details).

Your own contry means you have diplomatic immunity, make your own civil, criminal and tax laws. Recent reports claim a new company called Havenco plans to introduce a ” data haven” in Sealand (http://www.globalpolicy.org/nations/sealand.htm).

How would you call your country? What would the laws be? What would be the incentives for companies and individuals to immigrate to your contry (assuming you have place for them). Would you make it a cash cow by allowing all sorts of criminal activities, an utopian land with peace and harmony or a place just for you?

1) Would you notice if the left and right side of your body would have been surgically switched (without side-effects of scars)?

2) How would you react if you learn that you really know nothing about your life from your birth to 10 years old because all the “memories” you have are false-memories from doctored pictures, movies and audio tracks.

3) What would do if you had the ability to travel in time only 3 times. What would you witness or change?

4) What is your threshold of “label reversal”? What would you have to learn about someone that would invert the label you placed on that person?
Example1: you know a really good person — smart, charitable, funny, kind, generous — but you then learn that the person is an organ harvester.
Example2: you read that someone is a serial killer. You then learn that the same person devoted his life to helping people in homeless shelters.

PS: An OpenThinker is someone who doesn’t take reality for granted and like to explore the underlying structure of it.

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While waiting for the full Exoskeletons that will allow us to run and leap like a gazelle, lift as much as an elephant and attach a multitude of add-ons like a chainsaw, a mining drill of a bazooka to our arms. let’s think about a more accessible version.

Heavyduty Pogo Sticks fastened with large straps of Velcro to each legs would allow us to jump higher and, with proper training, leap like a gazelle.

You lay down on your back, tie a large elastic band to both Pogo Sticks and you have a powerful slighshot-grenade launcher that doesn’t need costly propulsion system.

A tear-resistant inflatable bubble covering the whole suit would allow the fighter to bounce down a hill faster than a car or knock down ennemies like a bowling ball.

So with part available in hardware and toy stores, you can get an useful entry-level Exoskeleton. Combine that with a GPS, NightVision Goggles, and a SuperSoaker full of Citric Acid and you’re good to go.

Ever wanted to have a real excuse not to go to work? Ever wished you could make hillarious twitchy faces?

Now you can! With our new and improved Do-it Yourself BrainSurgery Kit, you can tap (literally) into the obscure zones of your brain. With a few holes and pokes, you can increase your memory, speak alot faster, dance graciously or spend the next 2 years in a delightful and carefree vegetative state. Great for the gambling type!

Comes with a 15 minute video, clamps, a small saw, a cranial hammer, 5 metal punches with our logo (to mark the zones you edited), a bib (you’ll thank us later for that one) as well as an admission form for our new top-of-the-line phychiatric ward.

You’ll never have so much fun with power tool!

Science usually tries to analyze and define reality to extract patterns to predict behavior. We are not yet tapping into the underlying code. Predicting the behavior is only the beginning. Things will start to get exciting when we discover the backdoor to reality, when we can change the default values and change the code.

A team of metascientists from the labs of DeliciouslyQuirky.com found out that a precise combination of Chackra sounds, coloured lights at a frequency of 427Hz and a quick interprative dance about a squirrel allows to change the default value t (number of hours in a day). They reset it to 37.

Breaking News
What is believed to be the first prototype of The Bionic Man has been found in a warehouse in Alabama over the week-end. The prototype, albeit crude, is inpiring in its ingeniosity. Receipts found on site are showing a total investment of $782.53, far from the $6M invested in Colonel Steve Austin a few years later.

The prototype’s purpose appears to be a mystery: an 8-track was embedded in the lower addomen, Xmas lights was inserted under the skin to create a “glow”, speakers were attached to the volunteer’s chest and astroturf covered the whole body. Our scientists are trying to determine if other prototypes have been developed.

We’ll keep you posted for future developments of that story.

An ActiveWall is a wall that not only has variable opacity (to trace windows where you want on the wall), but also can display information. That information can be colour, an image to simulate a texture (wallpaper, paint or various paint finishes) or a feed (from TV, Internet or webcam).

You will be able to download themes from known interior designers to decorate your home and it will change the colours, wall illumination, window placement, music and smells of the house (synthetic odors).

You will also be able to subscribe to high-res webcam feeds and display it on the whole wall or room. Imagine your entire wall displaying a realistic real-time moving image, smells and sounds of a field in Manitoba, the French Alps or downtown Tokyo. It will feel as if your entire room was teleported in those places.

Combine any word from the following list: ware, shell, pod, cast, stream, bot, open-source, emulator and scripted to any acronym (as long as the acronym doesn’t form a word).

Example: My open-source emulator botware is streaming to my scripted streamcast in RFTY config.

Voila! Now quickly slip this gem into a conversation, wink and leave. You are sure to impress.

1. Fuel cell to cease dependance with oil suppliers and greatly reduce smog in cities.
2. Adaptable shell to carry more people or take less space if driving alone.
3. Adaptable contour seats with accupressure for greater comfort and safety (keep driver alert and relaxed)
4. Computer that evaluate the driving risks based on weather, mechanical status, road conditions (pavement quality, construction, etc) and make suggestions based on driving experience, mental state, fatigue, car noise level (kids), etc
5. Computer would compensate for driver physical state by altering cabin oxygen level, music level, etc
6. Active windshield would have information overlay and would enhance edges and display tags on objects to enhance visibility
7. Glider. A glider is not affected as much by pavement conditions, use and friction. Can also go over snow, sand and offroad without getting stuck.

Although the idea of a personal flying machine small enough to fit in a backpack is extremely appealing, you must consider the following:

1) We’d have to wear aluminum pants, which are probably not really comfy.

2) Engine failure at 75 feet in the air is not cool.

3) To be useful, a JetPack would have to go fairly fast. At that speed, birds, tree tops and clothes lines come mighty quickly.

4) People would use them as safely as they use boats or ATV— cluless and drunk. Imagine a group of drunken fratboys with their JetPack on a windy day in the busy downtown core…

Optica will be a optical digital implant that will include a multispectrum camera — with selectable wavelenghts from visible, radar, ultraviolet and infrared — that is linked to an image enhancer and an online database to cross-reference and interpret to images. Storage and transfer is done via another wireless implant.

One way to increase advertisement relevance would be to create movies and commercials with blue-screen placeholders and an upload/merging system. The local or seasonal content would then be hotlinked into those placeholders based on location, age group, community, etc. We could then insert local city landmarks, logos, crowds with different target age groups, taxi colours, etc. Different segments or scenes could also be used to adapt the movie or commercial to a specific audience.

You’ve probably heard of Whisper Marketing, a form of viral marketing where hired people let you overhear their conversation about a new product.

The next step is RealWhisper Marketing, where motion activated small speakers will be placed in hundred of bushes across the city and litterally whisper brandnames and short promotions to you as you walk by. You’ll hear a whisper coming from nowhere saying “juicy BigMac”. You’ll turn around, looking to see someone, then dismiss it. But your brain will have absorbed it.

The following step will be to layer the short whisper promo on top of TV programs, like an audio Brunswick TV. If you have a home theater, that whisper layer will come from the back speaker — the ones closer to you.

First, there is the slight problem of computer power, which is required to map, store and transfer the entire atomic structure of the body fast enough to capture an instant picture of 1,800,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 electrons going at 2,200 kilometers per second.

Second, there is the logistical problem. How do you make sure you don’t reappear in a huge rock, in the middle of the ocean or in someone else? You would need to know the exact layout of your target location. What is a bee or a leaf flies in between the snapshot of the target location and the structural transfer? What would forbide several people to materialize in the exact same spot at the same time? Could you schedule your materialization for next week, and stay in limbo on a hard drive until then?

Third, there is the legal/privacy problem. How do you avoid someone to teleport in someone’s shower, or bank vault?

Forth, there is the data integrity problem. How do you make sure that the source and target are the same person, even if the atomic structure is the same? Would you have to go through a series of test each time to make sure that your memories, behaviour and thoughts are the same as before the transfer? What if they are not the same? Would you keep a copy (backup) of yourself for security purpose? If we can do that, it means we can use the Teleporter as a human photocopier… We could create an entire army of ourself. We could send multiple copies of ourself to different locations. Even if official Teleportation Zones would be programmed to not make multiple copies, the black market versions could have overrides…

The new Internet should be immersive in the true sense. It should merge information with our physical world to help us make better choices. RFID and immersive games are 2 of the applications of that but the InfoLife will go far beyond.

Example of applications will be:
Driving-Assistant: Overlay of Google-map type of information on your windshield to give directions based on real-time traffic, road closures, points of interests, etc. It would display arrows directly on the street to guide your drive and would point to the location you are looking for.

Consumer products: Mix of secure RFID and related internet information, to display related products info, recent warnings or recalls, recipes, assembly instruction, comparison charts, etc.
Security: XRay glasses with nighvision and multi-spectral CCDs coupled with face-recognition software and linked to criminal database as well as context-sensitive feeds from various blogs, will help security personals identity treats in a crowd.

Those are just a few applications of what the proper use of information can do for us.

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