Can of Whoop-Ass

  1. Where do you buy it?
  2. Is there a maximum number of can one can possess without being illegal?
  3. Can you store it at room temperature or does it need to be refrigerated?
  4. Does the product have an expiry date?
  5. What happens if you open a can of expired Whoop-Ass? Is it like being beaten up by a 95 year old?
  6. What are the active ingredients?
  7. Can you be allergic or addicted to Whoop-Ass?
  8. Are the generic brands as strong as the Whoop-Ass brand?
  9. Is it stronger if you shake it before opening it?
  10. If you partially open it, does some of the whoop-ass get out, making it less potent?
  11. Do you take any special precautions once you open it?
  12. Does it come with clear instructions?
  13. Does it come in different size?
  14. Does it come in different flavors, like Kung Fu Whoop-Ass, Old School Whoop-Ass, or Grandma’s Xtreme Whoop-Ass?
  15. Do you have to wear protective gear when you open a can of Whoop-Ass?


What do you mean when you think is something or someone being invisible?

True invisibility means to not be detectable by visible light, infrared, ultraviolet, radar, and the or any of the other wavelengths.
It also means to not have visible or measurable effects on your environment that would tell people you are there. You can’t leave footprints, ripples, vapor trails, weight changes, or any other physical signs.

Starting from scratch

Did you ever imagine how you would manage to create something large or complex from scratch?

Starting your own bank
You’d have to rent at least a few commercial spaces, decorate the offices, hire people, buy computers and banking equipment, install the ATM, deal with employee issues, advertise, design and print all your brochures and posters, get tons of money to start loaning it, learn how the money market works, establish branches, make money by investing the borrowed money wisely, get the political ties to get a huge bailout of you mess up badly…

Creating your own army
You’d have to find a lot of people, dress, feed, house & train them, buy them weapons, equipment & vehicles, find them something to do like some peace keeping or third-world country dictator toppling…

Starting your own car company
You’d have to learn about how cars work, rent a big factory, buy all the specialized equipment, buy and install tons of computers and phone lines, hire tons of people including engineers and janitors, design a car that actually works and is safe enough not to get sued on your first day, get all the patents, build a testing facility, establish a distribution chain, spend tons of money in advertise, transport your cars to the distributors and compete with all the existing car manufacturers.

Setting up your own space exploration company
You’d have to buy computers, CAD software, learn how to use it, design your spacecraft, rent a large warehouse, buy all the material to build them, produce at least a few of them, buy the fuel, find a market willing to pay, hire pilots, train them on your spacecraft, transport your spacecraft to the launching site, hire lots of lawyer for when your spacecraft plummet into a residential area and make an enormous mess…

Starting a terraforming company
Once you have your bank to fund your projects, and your own space exploration company, you can create your own terraforming company. First, you have to learn what terraforming is, then you have to learn about astronomy, chemistry, physics, geology, climatology, oceanography, and long distance space travel. You must then find a planet to transform into an hospitable New Earth. You have to build the enormous pieces of equipment to create water, filter the toxic atmosphere, transform the soil from rock to organic soil and make sure the changes are permanent and self-sustaining.

Bad Cross-Promotions

  1. Baby Muppet Executive Briefcases
  2. African-style Elvis Collectible Plates
  3. Salvador Dali Pasta
  4. John Wayne Gacy clown outfit
  5. Barbie Pregnancy test
  6. Fisher-Price Anthrax
  7. Pokémon Personal Land Mine
  8. Javex Sulfuric Avid Mouth Wash
  9. Playboy Heart Surgery Clamps
  10. Gerber Baby Vodka

I know nothing

  1. I know nothing about people whose life is not mentioned in books, while I only have superficial knowledge of people whose life has been recorded in literature.
  2. I have only superficial knowledge of astronomy, with no knowledge at all of trillions of other planets and stars.
  3. I have no idea of how it would be to be able to perceive the full electromagnetic spectrum with all the all wavelengths (visible light, infrared, ultraviolet, radio waves, X-rays, microwaves, gamma rays and cosmic rays) at the same time. I don’t know how I would not be lost with all that information.
  4. I don’t know how to build a combustion engine, a computer or even a TV set from scratch.
  5. I know nothing about the exact way my own body use DNA in conjunction with my cells to keep me alive and functioning.
  6. I know nothing of the millions of species that became extinct without leaving a fossil and have only very superficial knowledge of the ones who left a fossilized presence.
  7. I have no idea how elementary particles such as lepton, muons and bosons can be so amazingly small and far apart, yet create the building blocks of atoms, which in turn create our physical environment.
  8. I have no idea how memories and data are stored in my own brain or how my neurons use chemical reactions to access and organize data to form a coherent pattern that is the article I’m writing.

Mythology or Scripture?

After talking to Christians and being immersed in Christian-based culture for years, I’m always surprised by how different the popular Christian view is from their own scripture.

For example, they believe that:

  • Angels are kind and helpful
  • Jesus created Christianity as it is now
  • When you die after accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you go straight to Heaven to meet your loved ones.
  • Heaven is a nice place.

If you don’t know already, none of these things are in the Bible — only the opposite.

In the actual Bible:

  • Angels are armed mercenaries destroying cities
  • Jesus insisted that people should obey the Law (Torah or Old Testament) in full, but like the newer way introduced by Paul.
  • You go to Heaven (in fact, a new Earth) only at the end of times.
  • Heaven is a large floating cube, presided by creatures full of eyes, not a quiet cloudy place.

I can think of 4 reasons why people would have those ideas, that are not based on the book they believe was at least inspired by their god.

  • False Assumptions without Specific Knowledge: They just didn’t read the book themselves — they heard parts read here and there at church and at school but never bothered to read the whole Bible by themselves. They rely on misconceptions heavily influenced by art by the means of paintings, books, movies and TV series, but not the original text.
  • Selective acceptance: The disconnect can be caused by people skipping over the uncomfortable passages and remembering only the “good parts”.
  • Merging of different accounts: Instead of taking the Gospels individually, they merge the events written in the four existing Gospels to create a new fifth one not based on the actual text.
  • Wishful reinterpretation: People can’t accept the actual meaning of what they read so they make up a new meaning based on what they wish for.