5 Fun Games for Kids

  1. Play “Punch Buggy” in the parking lot of the Volkswagen factory.
  2. Play Hide & Seek in New York’s sewer system.
  3. Sort a colony of fire ants by size.
  4. Count the grains of sand on a beach.
  5. Copy the phonebook, in crayons.

Which is worst?

I ask you to think hard about those questions. Which one is worse and why?
Taking your steak rare in a restaurant.
OR
Taking a bite out of a cow that just died in the field.

Killing someone yourself.
OR
Allowing people to invade a country and kill families.

Believing that gnomes listen to your thoughts and have the power to help your life.
OR
Believing that angels listen to your thoughts and have the power to help your life.

Not giving money to help starving people in Africa because you think money will not get there
OR
Not giving money to the homeless guy down the street because you think he’ll drink it anyway

Believing that when you die, you’ll go to on a cloud to see your loved ones for eternity (which is the description given in movies and painting).
OR
Believing that when you die, you’ll go in a giant cube with streets paved in gold, guarded by giant creatures full of eyes, for eternity (which is the version of heaven actually described in the Bible).

Weather Reports from our Solar System

From Mercury: “Today, arrrgghh it burnnnnnnns! Back to you Ken!”

From the dark side of the moon: “Today, and for the rest of the year, dark, cold and dry. Again”

From Jupiter: “Today, cloudy and poisonous with winds up to 600km/h. Stay indoors if you don’t have to go out.”

From Saturn: “Conditions on the Rings today: icy with clear visibility. Great for skating!”

From Pluto: Today… who cares. No one watches my weather report anyway…

Thanks to my daughter for that great idea!

Things you don’t want to hear from your commanding officer in a war.

  1. Backups will soon arrive… as long as the injured blind pigeon delivers our help message.
  2. Don’t worry about being out of ammo. You all know wrestling, right?
  3. Hi all! I’m Jeff and I’ll be your masseur / commanding officer. Who’s first for an oil body rub?
  4. OMG! You’ll look fabulous in those uber cool sparkly one piece!
  5. For your protection, you’ll all wear glow-in-the-dark suits.
  6. I know every troops that went there died a painful death, but this time it might be different!
  7. The force is very strong in our enemy. Let’s all pull our our plastic light saber!
  8. Our clothes are all wet. Quick, everyone naked!
  9. Lets poison their wells, dismember their corpses and tear the rest apart with our teeth, arrrggghhh!
  10. Believe in Xenu and you’ll live!

The relevance of tools in a Christian world

Jesus tells: “And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.” without terms, conditions or any limitations” (Matthew 21:21-22). Since Jesus is God, we can safely assume it is the Truth.

Why would Christians need:

  • cars, trains or planes? (they can ask to be teleported)
  • hospital, pills, casts, doctors or health insurance? (they can ask to be healed)
  • plastic surgery? (they ask ask to have any appearance they like)
  • money? (can can just ask form something and it will appear)
  • bridges? (they can ask to levitate)
  • weapons? (they can ask for their enemies to be destroyed by their god, like in the Old testament)
  • dating services, bars or other place to meet a mate? (they can ask for the perfect mate right away)
  • stoves, fridges or restaurants? (they can ask for the food and it will appear in front of them)
  • cooling or heating systems? (they can ask God to change the climate for them)
  • any science at all? (they can ask God to tell them directly how it works)

Quiet satisfaction

Quiet satisfaction is about things you don’t brag about; about achievements you will not get a trophy or a promotion for.

Quiet satisfaction is the long term feeling of having reached what you set up to do in your life, even without having a fixed and detailed plan.

Quiet satisfaction is having no regrets about the choices you’ve made or how things turned out.

Quiet satisfaction is the the warmth you have when you know you’re better now than you were before.

Quiet satisfaction is to know that you did your best and mostly did good to people around you.

Quiet satisfaction is the feeling that people around you a little better because they know you.

Quiet satisfaction is permanent, non fluctuating and is what we call happiness.

Intricacies of the Intercessory Prayer

Since most Christians must be praying for general health, wealth and happiness of themselves and the world around them, we have to find out why it doesn’t work as planned. Since it is Jesus himself that is said to have uttered the words “ask and you shall receive” without specifying conditions, there must be something wrong with the way people are praying.

  1. Is there a time lag between a particular request and the divine answer or action? 20,000 years is nothing for an all powerful deity, but not so useful for us mere humans.
  2. What is the equation defining the power of multiple prayers aimed at the same target?
  3. Is a prayer stronger if all prayees are in the same room holding hands? If so, what is the ratio of diminishing rate per kilometer if the prayees are apart?
  4. Is a group of people is set to pray for the same thing, but some of them are praying for different things, do the effect of the group diminished or cancel itself?
  5. Are there thing you can pray for that cost more prayers, like you can pray once to get a deadline extension on a report but 20 times to cure someone from leprosy?
  6. What is the result correlation between a prayee that really really mean it, to someone who sort of means it, to someone else who doesn’t really mean it at all?
  7. What happens when 2 people pray for opposite things, like going on a trip and staying home?
  8. Is there a flash of light or a sound when 2 prayers cancel each other?
  9. Are the exact tone, number of syllables used, color of clothes wore during the prayer and background noise matter?
  10. Is you pray out loud for something, but think about something different, which one of those 2 request will be granted?
  11. Do you get better at praying if you pray often? If so, does a beginner prayee have any chance at all to see his or her wish granted?
  12. Is there a maximum number of whishes per person? If so, does the scale of the wish affect the maximum number of prayers allowed in a lifetime?
  13. Is there a way to check our prayer status, with exact numbers for pending, delayed, rejected and fulfilled prayers?
  14. Are there adverse effects when you pray in a clumsy, non-specific way (like being changed into a fish when you ask for a drink)? Is it like a legal contract, where the exact language really matters or the other party can take advantage of you?
  15. Is there a limit to what wishes can be granted? Can you get something that is physically or logically impossible? What about getting something that will alter the space-time continuum or fold space into a swan?

Intricacies of the Intercessory Prayer, part 2

Since most Christians must be praying for general health, wealth and happiness of themselves and the world around them, we have to find out why it doesn’t work as planned. Since it is Jesus himself that is said to have uttered the words “ask and you shall receive” without specifying conditions, there must be something wrong with the way people are praying.

  1. Is there a time lag between a particular request and the divine answer or action? 20,000 years is nothing for an all powerful deity, but not so useful for us mere humans.
  2. What is the equation defining the power of multiple prayers aimed at the same target?
  3. Is a prayer stronger if all prayees are in the same room holding hands? If so, what is the ratio of diminishing rate per kilometer if the prayees are apart?
  4. Is a group of people is set to pray for the same thing, but some of them are praying for different things, do the effect of the group diminished or cancel itself?
  5. Are there thing you can pray for that cost more prayers, like you can pray once to get a deadline extension on a report but 20 times to cure someone from leprosy?
  6. What is the result correlation between a prayee that really really mean it, to someone who sort of means it, to someone else who doesn’t really mean it at all?
  7. What happens when 2 people pray for opposite things, like going on a trip and staying home?
  8. Is there a flash of light or a sound when 2 prayers cancel each other?
  9. Are the exact tone, number of syllables used, color of clothes wore during the prayer and background noise matter?
  10. Is you pray out loud for something, but think about something different, which one of those 2 request will be granted?
  11. Do you get better at praying if you pray often? If so, does a beginner prayee have any chance at all to see his or her wish granted?
  12. Is there a maximum number of whishes per person? If so, does the scale of the wish affect the maximum number of prayers allowed in a lifetime?
  13. Is there a way to check our prayer status, with exact numbers for pending, delayed, rejected and fulfilled prayers?
  14. Are there adverse effects when you pray in a clumsy, non-specific way (like being changed into a fish when you ask for a drink)? Is it like a legal contract, where the exact language really matters or the other party can take advantage of you?
  15. Is there a limit to what wishes can be granted? Can you get something that is physically or logically impossible? What about getting something that will alter the space-time continuum or fold space into a swan?

The Magical Night of Christmas

A noise woke me up in the middle of the Christmas night.

I went downstairs very quietly, grabbing my baseball bat on the way. What I saw left me puzzled and shocked as I peeked through the doorway.

An out of shape bearded old man in a dirty and torn red suit was looking through my wallet. The TV was smashed, most of my DVDs were missing and there was a repugnant odor of vomit and cheap beer emanating from my once pristine living room.

The most disturbing aspect of that sad scene was probably the dried blood stains on his urine-soaked pants. Just before running out of the house, my eyes stopped on the dark curved shape just above his belt — Santa was armed.