Bad Product Ideas

  • Barbie Girl Anti-aircraft Machine Gun
  • Javex Pure Bleach Bubble Gum
  • Teletubbies Pregnancy test
  • Victoria Secret Body Armour
  • Looney Tunes Personal Land Mines
  • Jack Daniel Baby Formula

What do you do?

Next time you are at a social gathering and someone ask you the “What do you do?”, have a little fun with it.

  • I’m a geneticist and I’m working on mating rhinos with gerbils.
  • I pile cardboard boxes.
  • I dream, rest and sometimes yawn.
  • I’m second in charge of a partial committee working on temporary groups.
  • I’m a plastic surgeon to the rich & famous. I worked on Michael Jackson’s nose.
  • I’m a cheerleading coach for overweight middle-aged men.
  • I’m a meeting-filler. I dress up in a suit and go to meetings for different companies — I nod and pretend to take notes.
  • I’m a organ-philanthropist. Care for a used spleen?
  • I’m a pre-embalmer. I start embalming clients while they are alive to save time. My friends thought it was too creepy. Want to be my friend?

Ode to Pseudo-Knowledge

The Norwegian Dwarf Elf prefers the roots of the white oak and celebrates the festival of Gur’ox. I know that because I have a degree in a Elfology from the Elvian University of Oslo.

Now, you probably think I made the whole thing up. Why?

Would it help the credibility of my degree or the reliability of my alleged knowledge if I told you I got the degree from someone really competent in a equally unverifiable field?

What do you accept as credentials? Would that authority be based solely on unverifiable claims and paid testimonials or would it have to be anchored on real, commonly accepted and measurable data?

Would that knowledge have to be based on something that actually exist?

What if that knowledge is not based on any empirical data or evidence, but based on unseen, invisible, supernatural or even on magical claims?

Can we assert authority on a field that is made up of unverifiable claims?

Does knowledge have to be useful or practical? Can that usefulness be quantifiable in a non-partisan, non-biased and repeatable way?

What if I claim to have a associate degree from the Alternative Medicine Institute of PingLam in Phrenology and Chromatic Aura Healing using Telluric Currents?

Would you put your health in my hands? Will you trust me with your cancer?

Would reading a list of fictitious testimonials on my glossy brochure help you make up your mind and pay me to heal you?

100th Post!!! Wooohooooo!

Pour célébrer le 100e article sur ce blog, voici une collection complète des textes en français que j’ai écrit au début des années 1990.

Ils sont séparés en 5 categories:

  • Fiction dramatiques
  • Proses
  • Pensées
  • Humour — Quasi-cohérents
  • Humour — Épileptiques

J’aimerais bien lire vos commentaires!

NEW Extreme Sports!

After the success of extreme sports such as base jumping, urban luge and train jumping, we are proud to introduce a series of new and exciting extreme sports:

Extreme Line Dancing
Nothing but cowboy hats, thongs and pogo sticks…

Unicycle Football
Bodychecking has never been so much fun to watch!

Rollerblade Tighrope
Take off the rubber wheels and Fly!

Urban Pole Vaulting
From the Rooftop to the Pavement in a Hearbeat!