Questions for the OpenThinker — part 1

1) Would you notice if the left and right side of your body would have been surgically switched (without side-effects of scars)?

2) How would you react if you learn that you really know nothing about your life from your birth to 10 years old because all the “memories” you have are false-memories from doctored pictures, movies and audio tracks.

3) What would do if you had the ability to travel in time only 3 times. What would you witness or change?

4) What is your threshold of “label reversal”? What would you have to learn about someone that would invert the label you placed on that person?
Example1: you know a really good person — smart, charitable, funny, kind, generous — but you then learn that the person is an organ harvester.
Example2: you read that someone is a serial killer. You then learn that the same person devoted his life to helping people in homeless shelters.

PS: An OpenThinker is someone who doesn’t take reality for granted and like to explore the underlying structure of it.

De-Beautify Yourself!

Tired of always looking so damn good? Bored of your perfect bone structure and flawless skin? Do you find your tanned and well-toned body ridiculous? What about that lustrous lock of hair?

You can now put a stop at that nonsense!

Order De-beautify Me!® NOW and you’ll get our cutting-edge space-age, top-notch body reconfiguring machine!

After only 2 weeks, you’ll have gained 70 pounds, lost half your hair, have natural looking flawed skin, and lost almost all those unsightly muscles GUARANTEED!

Order in the next 20 minutes and you’ll also receive our Original Thought Deactivator® FREE of CHARGE!

Let’s talk Exoskeletons

While waiting for the full Exoskeletons that will allow us to run and leap like a gazelle, lift as much as an elephant and attach a multitude of add-ons like a chainsaw, a mining drill of a bazooka to our arms. let’s think about a more accessible version.

Heavyduty Pogo Sticks fastened with large straps of Velcro to each legs would allow us to jump higher and, with proper training, leap like a gazelle.

You lay down on your back, tie a large elastic band to both Pogo Sticks and you have a powerful slighshot-grenade launcher that doesn’t need costly propulsion system.

A tear-resistant inflatable bubble covering the whole suit would allow the fighter to bounce down a hill faster than a car or knock down ennemies like a bowling ball.

So with part available in hardware and toy stores, you can get an useful entry-level Exoskeleton. Combine that with a GPS, NightVision Goggles, and a SuperSoaker full of Citric Acid and you’re good to go.

Let’s talk Exoskeletons

While waiting for the full Exoskeletons that will allow us to run and leap like a gazelle, lift as much as an elephant and attach a multitude of add-ons like a chainsaw, a mining drill of a bazooka to our arms. let’s think about a more accessible version.

Heavyduty Pogo Sticks fastened with large straps of Velcro to each legs would allow us to jump higher and, with proper training, leap like a gazelle.

You lay down on your back, tie a large elastic band to both Pogo Sticks and you have a powerful slighshot-grenade launcher that doesn’t need costly propulsion system.

A tear-resistant inflatable bubble covering the whole suit would allow the fighter to bounce down a hill faster than a car or knock down ennemies like a bowling ball.

So with part available in hardware and toy stores, you can get an useful entry-level Exoskeleton. Combine that with a GPS, NightVision Goggles, and a SuperSoaker full of Citric Acid and you’re good to go.

Do-it Yourself BrainSurgery Kit

Ever wanted to have a real excuse not to go to work? Ever wished you could make hillarious twitchy faces?

Now you can! With our new and improved Do-it Yourself BrainSurgery Kit, you can tap (literally) into the obscure zones of your brain. With a few holes and pokes, you can increase your memory, speak alot faster, dance graciously or spend the next 2 years in a delightful and carefree vegetative state. Great for the gambling type!

Comes with a 15 minute video, clamps, a small saw, a cranial hammer, 5 metal punches with our logo (to mark the zones you edited), a bib (you’ll thank us later for that one) as well as an admission form for our new top-of-the-line phychiatric ward.

You’ll never have so much fun with power tool!

Unified Theory and Chackras

Science usually tries to analyze and define reality to extract patterns to predict behavior. We are not yet tapping into the underlying code. Predicting the behavior is only the beginning. Things will start to get exciting when we discover the backdoor to reality, when we can change the default values and change the code.

A team of metascientists from the labs of DeliciouslyQuirky.com found out that a precise combination of Chackra sounds, coloured lights at a frequency of 427Hz and a quick interprative dance about a squirrel allows to change the default value t (number of hours in a day). They reset it to 37.

First Prototype of The Bionic Man Found

Breaking News
What is believed to be the first prototype of The Bionic Man has been found in a warehouse in Alabama over the week-end. The prototype, albeit crude, is inpiring in its ingeniosity. Receipts found on site are showing a total investment of $782.53, far from the $6M invested in Colonel Steve Austin a few years later.

The prototype’s purpose appears to be a mystery: an 8-track was embedded in the lower addomen, Xmas lights was inserted under the skin to create a “glow”, speakers were attached to the volunteer’s chest and astroturf covered the whole body. Our scientists are trying to determine if other prototypes have been developed.

We’ll keep you posted for future developments of that story.

ActiveWall — House of the future

An ActiveWall is a wall that not only has variable opacity (to trace windows where you want on the wall), but also can display information. That information can be colour, an image to simulate a texture (wallpaper, paint or various paint finishes) or a feed (from TV, Internet or webcam).

You will be able to download themes from known interior designers to decorate your home and it will change the colours, wall illumination, window placement, music and smells of the house (synthetic odors).

You will also be able to subscribe to high-res webcam feeds and display it on the whole wall or room. Imagine your entire wall displaying a realistic real-time moving image, smells and sounds of a field in Manitoba, the French Alps or downtown Tokyo. It will feel as if your entire room was teleported in those places.

How to fake GeekSpeak

Combine any word from the following list: ware, shell, pod, cast, stream, bot, open-source, emulator and scripted to any acronym (as long as the acronym doesn’t form a word).

Example: My open-source emulator botware is streaming to my scripted streamcast in RFTY config.

Voila! Now quickly slip this gem into a conversation, wink and leave. You are sure to impress.