NOT the same thing

  1. Miracles and magic are NOT the same thing
  2. The resurrected Jesus was NOT a zombie
  3. Speaking to God is NOT the same thing as hearing voices
  4. Prayer is NOT the same as telepathy
  5. Believing in angels is NOT the same as believing in gnomes and unicorns
  6. Faith Financing is NOT as good as Faith Healing
  7. Eating the body of Christ in a wafer is NOT cannibalism
  8. Drinking the blood of Christ in blessed wine is NOT vampirism

Top12 Public Speaking Tips

  1. Make sure you speak in a very soft voice — whisper even; people will pay more attention.
  2. Distract the audience with loud noises or pretend to slip and fall whenever you are not sure what to say.
  3. Mumble or speak much faster when you say things that are controversial, unfounded or simply wrong.
  4. Dress very provocatively or 4 sizes too small. This will give the audience something to look at when you try to remember where you are in your speech.
  5. Don’t be afraid to sound racist, sexist, arrogant or plain dumb. This will set you apart from the polished and professional speakers and make you seem edgy. And remember: swear words are your friends.
  6. Play background music very loud. People don’t have to hear every words you say.
  7. Make sure the print-outs of your speech don’t match your actual speech. This will force people to talk to you after the talk.
  8. Wear squeaky shoes — whimsical effects are always welcome.
  9. Accentuate the dramatic effect of your points with sound effects.
  10. Make sure to always exaggerate the numbers you say — whose going to fact-check your presentation anyway?
  11. Try changing your voice every 3 or 4 minutes to Yoda, Scooby Doo, Mr. T, Bill Cosby, Sponge Bob, etc. This will keep the audience alert and receptive.
  12. Don’t be afraid to make up words. People will think you are more knowledgeable than them.