“Reality is crossing an energy river by stepping on quantum rocks”

“Wisdom comes from knowing the limits of your own reality”

“Consciousness is to evolution what wisdom is to purpose”

“Logos without pathos is ethos-coated eros”

Quotes by DeliciouslyQuirky.com

Pets in Sweater

Nothing but 120 monthly glossy pages of pets in sweaters. This month: chinchillas in leather, goldfish in 100% wool jumpsuit and hamsters in turtlenecks.

Modern Yeti

Everything you ever wanted to know about the Yeti, including who he is dating, his favorite wine, his dream vacation destination, his life’s challenges and more!

Transylvanian Interior Decorating Ideas

What to do when a group  Night Walkers come for brunch? How to serve cold cuts to the living dead? What cheese goes well with A- blood? You’ll thank this monthly publication when you want to look good for your non-reflective neighbors!

Gullible Monthly

This month GREAT offer: buy the skull of Elvis as a child, how to get rich by sending us your money, 5 ways to loose weight by eating only delicious bacon fat and 25 great tips on getting your dreamhouse for free.

If you were transported back in time to, lets say, 1000CE or even 1500CE, how much of the 2008 knowledge could you explain? How many machines could you rebuild? How useful could you be as a person from the future? How much of your world could you explain to them? How different do you think you would be from them in your knowledge and belief system?

Could you explain to them:

1. Our monetary/banking system?
2. Our social structure and who is really in charge in 2008?
3. Our understanding of the solar system and the universe?
4. The major advancements or science in the past 100 years?
5. Basic knowledge on the human body?
6. How the modern car, train and planes work?
7. How our phone, TV, Microwave over, cell phone work?
8. What a computer is and does in term they would understand?

Could you build:

1. A rudimentary transportation device with a steam engine?
2. A telegraph to help them communicate?
3. A telescope, miscroscope or sextant?
4. A crane to help them build?

It is common knowledge that we only use 10% of our brain. What would you do if you had access to the full 100%? Would you write 3 symphonies before breakfast? Solve the climate change problem before lunch? Eraditate poverty and decease before the end of the day?

Now you can stop dreaming and start putting your FULL mental power to good use with NeuroPathAccess.

This new revolutionary products boost the power of your neurons, optimize your synaptic network and tap into dormant areas of your cerebral cortex! 2 pills a day for a month can increase your IQ by 50 full points!

You’ll thank NeuroPathAccess on your next Scrabble game! You will win every argument with your coworkers and become the envy of Mensa door-to-door salespeople!

Caution: Not recommended for  for evil characters, passive aggressive types, anger or sarcasm-prone persons as well as most carbon-based individuals living less than 1,000  km from other lifeforms.

1. Modify your DNA to become bioluminescent.
2. Implant subcutaneous receptors to change your skin colour at will. Lime green and sky blue hues will impress the most.
3. Carry a small speaker behind your head to repeat a whispered and slightly delayed version of your speech.
4. Travel with trained doves and every few minutes, start a sentence by: “According to the prophecy…”
5. Float 2 inches from the ground by wearing magnetic levitation shoes.
6. Travel with a genetically modified black dog to look like Cerberus, the 2-Headed-Dog-From-Hell and a mini-smoke machine.
7. Build an Aztec sacrificial altar in your office.
8. Ride a Grizzly bear to work.
9. Travel slow-motion with an entourage of leather-clad shaved-head sunglasse-wearing pale-faced giants.