Two things are absolutely sure in the future: Marketers will find more intrusive ways to pry into your innermost secrets to sell you things you are willing to pay for and Hackers will always try and succeed at breaking into secure systems.

When you combine the 2, you have some intrusive but mighty powerful ways to reach potential customers.

Here are some examples of the conversion of marketing and hacking:

 GPS navigation Spying
With car onboard navigation system becoming more prevalent, GPS hacking will start to be used not only passively as an absence alert and a presence mapping used by criminals, but also actively as GSP hijacking to display only certain restaurants, gas stations and hotels that are part of a particular affiliate network.

Personal Agent
Right now, we have software to keep track of our busy schedules. In a near future, we’ll rely on software to book appointments, change those appointments in relation to the weather, other appointments, traffic delays, etc. Suggestions of routes or destinations will be made in relation to an affiliate network by default. Marketers/Hackers will know your exact schedule, preference of movies, books you order, music your agent plays — to have an exact log of your habits. They will know when to offer you certain products based on your routine. Criminals/Hackers will be able to peer into your schedule and move your appointments for you to leave the house for longer, leaving them plenty of time to enjoy your unattended residence.

Existing Security Network
Marketers/Hackers will hack into the street camera, store security cameras, red light cameras, ATM cameras and use face recognition software and track your every move, even when you don’t carry your GPS-embedded cell phone or computer with you. They will know your patterns, your friends, associates and affairs. They will use that data to profile you in extreme details.

Drive-by Digital Communication Hijacking
You drive by a store or a restaurant, and you hear an ad or subtle sounds that influence you into wanting what they sell. It could be an interstitial ad, a sound relating to what they sell or helping you bring back a memory relating to a similar need, or an intimately sounding soft order.

RFID Chip Tracking
Merchandise inventory is done remotely and digitally with RFID chips (Radio Frequency Identification). Passports in many countries are also identified with a RFID chip. In the near future, you can expect more physical objects beings tagged and tracked by a RFID system. Marketers/Hackers will know what you buy, from what store, how long you keep it in your house and where you put it by an overlay of your house, based on the floor plan they downloaded from the city building permit office they hacked into.

Your future life
You’ll be able to buy, for a substantial amount of money, an anti-hacking wireless shield for your person, your car, or your house. That shield will protect you from low-end hacking, until its security is breached. You’ll pay premium dollars to go to a week-end zero-stimulation resorts, where no ads will be presented to you. In your daily life, Marketers/Hackers will know everything about you, including your current location and who you are with.

Don’t worry. The future will appear friendly.

The idea is to create large white balloon not for transportation or data gathering purpose, but solely for brand exposure. It takes skywriting to the next level.

The gigantic white balloon would be in the shape of a simple logo, an arrow pointing to a service or an image representing a company in a certain context. Ballast would keep the bottom of the PromoClouds® pointing downward. Several PromoClouds® could be attached together to form a string of floating objects, such as a short tagline or a multipart logo.

The basic, less disruptive Promoclouds® would be white, to mimic a natural cloud. The premium version would be bioluminescent, as to be seen day and night. It would float below the natural cloud coverage, as to be visible even by a overcast day.

The Promoclouds® could be tethered to promote a local event or business or free-floating for global exposure.

• Barbie Girl Anti-aircraft Machine Gun
• Javex Pure Bleach Bubble Gum
• Teletubbies Pregnancy test
• Victoria Secret Body Armour
• Looney Tunes Personal Land Mines
• Jack Daniel Baby Formula

Next time you are at a social gathering and someone ask you the “What do you do?”, have a little fun with it.

• I’m a geneticist and I’m working on mating rhinos with gerbils.
• I pile cardboard boxes.
• I dream, rest and sometimes yawn.
• I’m second in charge of a partial committee working on temporary groups.
• I’m a plastic surgeon to the rich & famous. I worked on Michael Jackson’s nose.
• I’m a cheerleading coach for overweight middle-aged men.
• I’m a meeting-filler. I dress up in a suit and go to meetings for different companies — I nod and pretend to take notes.
• I’m a organ-philanthropist. Care for a used spleen?
• I’m a pre-embalmer. I start embalming clients while they are alive to save time. My friends thought it was too creepy. Want to be my friend?

The Norwegian Dwarf Elf prefers the roots of the white oak and celebrates the festival of Gur’ox. I know that because I have a degree in a Elfology from the Elvian University of Oslo.

Now, you probably think I made the whole thing up. Why?

Would it help the credibility of my degree or the reliability of my alleged knowledge if I told you I got the degree from someone really competent in a equally unverifiable field?

What do you accept as credentials? Would that authority be based solely on unverifiable claims and paid testimonials or would it have to be anchored on real, commonly accepted and measurable data?

Would that knowledge have to be based on something that actually exist?

What if that knowledge is not based on any empirical data or evidence, but based on unseen, invisible, supernatural or even on magical claims?

Can we assert authority on a field that is made up of unverifiable claims?

Does knowledge have to be useful or practical? Can that usefulness be quantifiable in a non-partisan, non-biased and repeatable way?

What if I claim to have a associate degree from the Alternative Medicine Institute of PingLam in Phrenology and Chromatic Aura Healing using Telluric Currents?

Would you put your health in my hands? Will you trust me with your cancer?

Would reading a list of fictitious testimonials on my glossy brochure help you make up your mind and pay me to heal you?

Pour célébrer le 100e article sur ce blog, voici une collection complète des textes en français que j’ai écrit au début des années 1990.

Ils sont séparés en 5 categories:

• Fiction dramatiques
• Proses
• Pensées
• Humour — Quasi-cohérents
• Humour — Épileptiques

J’aimerais bien lire vos commentaires!

After the success of extreme sports such as base jumping, urban luge and train jumping, we are proud to introduce a series of new and exciting extreme sports:

Extreme Line Dancing
Nothing but cowboy hats, thongs and pogo sticks…

Unicycle Football
Bodychecking has never been so much fun to watch!

Rollerblade Tighrope
Take off the rubber wheels and Fly!

Urban Pole Vaulting
From the Rooftop to the Pavement in a Hearbeat!

• Internet-ready Christmas tree
• Battery-operated self-centering nails with laser target (pack of 20)
• Self-aware carbon nanotube beach towel
• 12 inch globe with LCD countries for dynamic motion cloud coverage based on current satellite pictures
• Solar panel-powered winter hat
• Rear-camera glasses to see what is behind you as you walk
• AM/FM muffin

Macro-appearance of Micro-arrangement
The electron are orbiting pretty far from the nucleus. When the atoms are combined to form matter, the macro-scale structure can appear solid and without gaps, while if you zoom it to the atomic level, you’ll see mostly void (1 to 1,000,000,000,000,000 scale of matter to void!).

Fractality of Natural Structures
Fractals are patterns created through seemingly random processes, no matter the zooming level. If you use start from a satellite photo of a coastline, then zoom in to molecular level, you’ll always see an irregular pattern.

Scale Range
The scale of the universe is absolutely astounding. It stretches from the observations of particle physics (composition of the atoms) to cosmology (the whole universe).

Our Atomic Makeup
The number of known elements is now up to 118, with the first 92 occuring naturally. The Earth itself, all the mineral, vegetal, animal and human life are mainly composed of the 10 most common elements. Organic life (vegetal, animal and us) is mainly composed of hydrogen, carbon, oxygen and nitrogen. All elements the humans are composed of are found on our planet — we are not alien being but physically a part of our environment.

Magnificent Natural Objects
Geodes, crystal formations, blossoming cherry tree, planetary rings and nebulas are some of the amazing products of the bonding of atoms in different environments.

The recent scientific concepts imagined to describe the inner workings of the natural world are fascinating. Multiverses, Multiple Big Bang theory, Superstring Theory, antimatter, quantum entanglement are only some of the those ideas.

Scientific languague is not just descriptive and accurate; it can also be mysterious and beautiful. Just read or listen to “The nature of Space and Time” by Stephen Hawkins and you’ll see what I mean.

You don’t have to know the deep meaning behind the concepts to appreciate the beauty of that specialized language. Just read the following expressions to experience some of that modern poetry:

• Quantum gravity
• Theory of causal dynamical triangulation
• 4 dimensional spacetime manifold
• Virtual blackhole as a quantum fluctuation of spacetime
• Discretionary access control in a heterogeneous distributed database
• Parallel Jacobi algorithms for the algebraic eigenvalue problem
• Deoxyribonucleic acid
• chromosomal crossover
• Algebraic lattice
• Chronostratigraphy
• Cathodoluminescence

Now, try to drop “Finite-state automata with recursive-call state transitions” in a conversation…

The more I learn about politics, current events, religion, “creation science/intelligent design”, the more I realize that we have a closed and personal version of the general absolute reality. I think that our personal reality is shaped by their beliefs and by the limit of their knowledge.

We seem to find security in knowing ALL tof our universe, even if it’s extremely small, not mater how unreliable or unlikely its foundation really is. At least we understand it — at least it’s simple and obey some rules.

If you start to ask questions, if you leave the mental security blanket of having an overall explanation of reality, things begin to become less comfortable, even unsettling. By expanding your mental reality, you run the risk of loosing your landmarks, to venture in the unknown. You leave the small closet you know well and come out in the open field, at night — full of strange noises, peculiar lights, and unknown shapes.

I think that open field is worth exploring for the sake of finding the truth, even if it’s less comfortable and reassuring.

Not all secret societies are evil underground cults designed to control the world (at least, that’s what the masked whispering man ordered me to say).

The Cloud Gazers
They meet in a secluded field, lay down in the grass, and watch clouds for hours. Their hierchy is as loose as the object of their observation.

The Fraternity of the Muffin Gobblers
Affiliated with the The Secret Society of Pie Eaters and The Order of the Crumpet Crumpers
These societies are organized around a specific culinary treat. Factions have been known to appear when a group realized they wanted nothing to do with the unnatural preferences of others. We’ll recall the Vanilla Ice Scream incident that lead to the formation of the Orthodox Apple Pie Movement.

The Order of the Whimsical Head Cover
This group meets once a month, wear funny hats and giggle. They are occasionally bullied by the Pokadot Beret Sisterhood.

The Nihilists
The only group that denies its own existence on a regular basis.

Number of Children
In 2008, there are approximately 6.7 billion people on earth, with 2.4 billion children , with around 650 million being Christian. With an average of 3.5 children per household, we then have 186 million houses around the world that are expecting Santa to show up on Christmas night.

Time Available
Santa Claus has to deliver all his presents in about 31 hours, counting the different time-zones, which means he has to visit 1667 houses per second. In about 0.001 second, he has to get to the next house, land on the roof, unhook his safety harness, get out of the sled, find the toy in his huge bag (that is several kilometers high as we’ll see), enters the chimney, place the gifts under the tree, eat the cookies, drink the milk, get up the chimney and get in the sled and tie up his safety harness.

Distance to Cover
With a planet circumference of 40,076 km and with 186 million stops in all countries of the Earth (starting from the Canadian North Pole and excluding Antartica), we can grossly estimate a total travelling distance of 150 million kilometers.

Speed of the Sled
Since Santa Claus has 31 hours to do 150,000,000 km — he then has to travel at almost 5 million Km/h. This does not include any time for the Santa Claus and his reindeers to rest or to take a pee break. Such a speed would create an enormous air resistance which would have to effect to heat up the 2 front reindeers. Actually, they would heat up so much, they would be vaporized within the first 0.001 second. The acceleration would be about 20,000 G, which would instantly liquify Santa Claus and his jolly reindeers. The air resistance would then affect the second pair of reindeer in line, vaporizing them. Within 4 thoussandth of a second, the whole gang, including Santa, would be vaporized.

Weight of the load
Assuming an average weight per gift of 2 pound and an average dimensions per gift of  1foot x 1foot x 1foot, the weight of the sled would be about 1,300,000,000 pounds or 589,670,081 kg.

Size of the load
Assuming a cargo area of 6 feet wide x 4 feet long, the height of the sled load would be : 27,083,333 feet or 8,255 Km high. Planes fly to at 30,000 feet or 9 km, so Santa’s sled could hit several planes during his tour.

The Milk & Cookie Situation
During Christmas night, if every house leaves only 1 cookie for Santa, this means a total of almost 2 million Kilos of cookies (based on a 10g cookie) and 18.7 million liters of milk (based on 0.1 liter per glass)! I assume he would have to find a washroom once in a while…

Protective Gears Required

• He would have to have a extremely good collision avoidance system to drive at that speed.
• He would have to wear fantastic goggles too, since the speed of the wind in his eyes (4,838,710 Km/h) would be intolerable.
• A powerful safety harness would be required for the quick turns and abrupt deccelaration.
• They would wear kevlar/carbon microfiber blend body armours, to prevent such appaling scene.
• In order to drink 2 cookies and eat a glass of milk at each stop (in less that 0.0003 second), Santa Claus would have to have a special titanium alloy digestive system.
• He would also have to have a special skin and skelettal structure to withstand such speed.
• The sled would also be equipped with radar deflector and stealth external structure, to avoid being detected by radar from NORAD.
• They would have to be protected by a strong force field (which has not been invented yet).

Ahhh, the magic of Christmas!

Based on an ideas, assumptions and base calculations of my friend, Frankie The Lone Ranger

This morning, I saw a cute unicorn being chased by a dragon and a troll in my backyard.

Do you believe me? Why not?

Those creatures are part of the world folklore for thousands of years and thousands of stories were written about them. You can also see them in paintings and in movies.

Of course, you could say they don’t exist based on the total lack of archaeological evidence and the absolute lack of credible eye witnesses in recorded history.

Then, how can anyone believe in other creatures that share the same mythical characteristics, such as angels, demons and ghosts?

1. What percentage of your knowledge are you absolutely sure of?
2. What are your criterias in evaluating the reliability of the information?
3. How do you know that the information is not biased?
4. Do you know which piece of information in your brain comes from gossip, false assumption, TV show fiction, unchecked fact from a magazine, an opinion from a blog or a well-documented piece of reliable knowledge?
5. Can you differenciate between accurate memories and false/distorted memories from 20 years ago?
6. How do you know that even a well-documented information from a reliable source is not false?

Celestial Bowling
You take a moon and throw it as far as you can, using the planetary gravitationnal slingshot effect to produce nice curve balls. The goal is to knock the most planets out of orbit. The fun never stops!

Spacial Origami
When you have unlimited powers, you can fold space and time. The most popular shapes among gods are swans and frogs.

Sim-World
You create a population on a planet. You then unleash earthquakes, tsunamis and volcanic eruptions and watch them scream and run! Gods never get tired of that one.

JetPack Race
5 racers have to fly to the other side of a large warehouse with electrified ceiling, floor and walls, while dodging dodge poles and windmills.

Last Bot Standing
In the game called “Last Bot Standing”, a team of 10 exoskeleton-wearing contestants have to capture the flag on a Peruvian jungle cliff. To do so, they must first eliminate the other contestants, each more armed than the next.

Whose Face is it Anyway
This highly addictive show features a paid contestant that goes about his or her daily life wearing a special helmet with cerebral probes, controlled by the viewers via web surveys. The actions receiving the most votes will be applied to the contestant. The probes produce results by affecting different parts of the volunteers’ brains with electric impulses. They can affect motricity, dexterity, facial expressions and speech. The goal is to produce the most embarassing situations, viewed 24 hours a day, live in high-definition.

Extreme Makeover
Viewers suggest makeovers. The makeovers can include plastic surgery, cranial implants, DNA modifications, body extensions, skin modification, extra limbs, and genetic regression. A panel of judges choose the best 10 for 10 contestants, who will be given 1 million dollars each. At the end of the makeovers, viewers vote for the best one, who will receive an additional 10 million dollars.

Chameleon
Ability to morph into anyone, providing they bare an uncannny ressemblance to himself.

Teleporter
Ability to teleport herself within a 1/2 inch range. If applied in rapid motion, can make opponent slightly dizzy.

Time Traveller
Can travel back and forth in time, but only 2 seconds.

Mind Reader
Ability to read minds, a long as the thoughts are about small grey dogs wearing purple vests.

Replicator
Ability to create a copy of himself, but the copy appears at 12 million kilometers from the original.

Symmetrycan
Ability to switch the left and right side of her body for 2 seconds at a time.

Here are 6 of the coolest jobs that are sure to generate alot of questions at a party. Please note that I did not create the content for this particular section. I also give the source of the information so you can look into it,  get a degree in one of those fields and change reality forever!

Galactic Archaeologist
Galactic Archaeology is concerned with the search for the most metal-poor and hence oldest stars of the Galaxy, and the determination of their chemical abundance patterns.
These stars are important tools for studying, e.g., the formation and chemical evolution of the Galaxy, the properties (e.g., mass, rotation) of the first generation of massive stars which exploded as type II supernovae and nucleosynthesis processes that occurred in them.
http://www.astronomy.com/asy/default.aspx?c=a&id=2091
http://www.lsw.uni-heidelberg.de/projects/galactic_archaeology/
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2008/09/080918-star-migration.html

Exobiologist (or Astrobiologist)
The branch of biology that deals with the search for extraterrestrial life and the effects of extraterrestrial surroundings on living organisms. Also called astrobiology, space biology.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Exobiologist

The Exobiology Branch conducts research in Exobiology seeking to increase our knowledge of the origin, evolution, and distribution of life in the universe. Answers are sought to questions such as: To what extent did chemical evolution occur in the primitive bodies of the solar system? How did life originate on the Earth, and what role did minerals play? What evidence exists regarding the early interplay between biological and environmental evolution?

What do molecular fossils tell us about early microbial evolution? How can the study of contemporary microbes or geochemical samples inform us of past events? The work of the staff in this Branch also provides the conceptual basis and measurement criteria for future spacecraft missions to other solar system bodies such as Mars, Titan, and comets, in search of answers to such fundamental questions in non-terrestrial settings.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Astrobiology
http://exobiology.nasa.gov/

Exopsychologist
The field of Astropsychology or Exopsychology is the field of study concerned with how intelligent extra-terrestrial beings operate, including their behavior, mental processes, and pathologies and is directly related to the more established and recognized field of space science known as Astrobiology or Exobiology
http://www.esoteric-news.com/artman/publish/article_318.shtml

Terraformer
The terraforming (literally, “Earth-shaping”) of a planet, moon, or other body is the hypothetical process of deliberately modifying its atmosphere, temperature, surface topography or ecology to be similar to those of Earth to make it habitable by humans.
The term is sometimes used more generally as a synonym for planetary engineering. The concept of terraforming developed from both science fiction and actual science. The term was probably invented by Jack Williamson in a science-fiction story (“Collision Orbit”) published during 1942 in Astounding Science Fiction,[1] but the actual concept pre-dates this work.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terraforming

Plastinator
Plastination is a technique used in anatomy to preserve bodies or body parts. The water and fat are replaced by certain plastics, yielding specimens that can be touched, do not smell or decay, and even retain most microscopic properties of the original sample. The 5 steps of plastination are:

• Fixation
• Dehydration
• Forced impregnation
• Hardening
• Posing

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plastination

Cryptozoologist
Cryptozoology (from Greek κρυπτός, kruptos, “hidden” + zoology; literally, “study of hidden animals”) is the study of and search for animals which fall outside of contemporary zoological catalogs. It consists of two primary fields of research:

• The search for living examples of animals taxonomically identified through fossil records, but which are believed to be extinct.

• The search for animals that fall outside of taxonomic records due to a lack of empirical evidence, but for which anecdotal evidence exists in the form of myths, legends, or undocumented sightings.

Those involved in cryptozoological study are known as cryptozoologists; the animals that they study are often referred to as “cryptids”, a term coined by John Wall in 1983.

Cryptozoology has seen very little attention from the mainstream scientific community because it does not follow the scientific method in attempts to support its claims.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cryptozoology 

You have been lied to since you were born. You are lied to everyday. You are lying to yourself frequently.

Lies, deceptions, misinformation, disinformation, exagerations, generalisations, unfounded claims, errors and mistakes.

Your parents lied to you since you were born — sometimes to protect you, sometimes because they didn’t want to take the time to explain what they thought was the real explanation, sometimes because they didn’t know how to explain it and sometimes they made up an explanation because they didn’t know the real explanation.

You grow up and people lie to you everyday. Make-up can be a form of deception, by changing your physical appearance and looking younger. Heels and lift make you look taller. Botox and cosmetic surgery alter your appearance to make you look younger and smoother. You ask people how they are and most of the time, they answer: “fine!”. They don’t want to get into that argument they had over breakfast, or the colonoscopy pain they still have.

You are exposed to hundreds of lies a day in the form of advertising on TV, radio, internet, newspaper, magazines, billboards everywhere.

You lie to protect yourself and others,  to not take the time to go into details, to cover up a mistake, to appear better than you are, and for many other reasons.

Still, people expect us to tell the truth. Which one?

Hypercephaly
Inflation of the cerebrum caused by the bite of the Anamorphicus Rei mosquito. The substance contained in the saliva of that mosquito can increase your IQ by 80 to 100 points overnight. Warning: cranial explosions due to repeated doses can mess up your living room.

Peni Gigantis
The terrible affliction of suddenly getting a huge male organ. Can be embarrassing if carried by a woman. This non-hereditary trouble activates most frequently when a seratonin surge saturates the hypothalamus, such as meeting an aesthetically-pleasing person in an nightclub.

Hyper symmetry
A cerebral cortex imbalance that enhances greatly your physical symmetry, thus making you more appealing. Warning: can be cured by squinting really hard, drooling, spitting on the sidewalk, a lack of education and the frequent use of swearwords.

Venus is in celcius, Jupiter is radioactive and Mars is in the House of Commons.

• You will have a day like any other day, without great surprises.
• Some generic nondescript events will happen in the world to people you don’t know.
• You might meet someone you know today, but if you don’t leave the house, you might not.
• You will get news from something slightly political in nature, or maybe about the weather.
• Your lucky numbers are anywhere between 1 and a million.

This is valid for every sign, for the whole year. Next year might bring surprises… or not.

Globularism
The odd and unsupported view that our planet – the Earth – is spherical. This is contradictory with the evidence brought by the Flat Earth Society, who tries to educate the masses on the real shape of the Earth: a disc with the North Pole in the center and the South Pole along the edge. All photos of the round Earth have been doctored to push the Globularists agenda.

Zoocryptodomestication
The hobby of having a mythical creature as pet. Most popular are elves, dragons and unicorns. Caution: one must be careful with the mytical creatures with magical powers.

Proselytism
The act of getting up early, dressing up as for a meeting, walking the neighborhood on a nice day, and trying to transform the reality assumptions of lucky people. Also refers to the act of trying to convert people to your religion.

How visual is your memory?
Can you do a playback of your favorite movie scenes in your mind?
Can you rotate object and change the camera angle in a mental scene?
Can you imagine yourself flying (with the changing view of the ground, nearby building)?
Can you construct a scene with customized items (not sampled from previously seen images)?
When you read a book, do you “see” the characters, locations, etc?

How “auditive” is your memory?
Do you sometimes have songs stuck in your head?
Can you replicate a real-sounding musical instrument in your mind?

Resurectionnist
The noble profession of providing biological experimental canvasses for the hippocratic professionals. Vulgarly called corpse peddlers.

Pau-de-Arara
The art of bringing mental extasy to someone by carefuly suspending them upside-down and caressing them gently with a wooden paddle. Also involves taking them closer to the elemental nirvana by applying a thin hydrated cloth over their breating apparatus.

Necrocryozoophilia
The act of being sexually attracted to frozen chicken.

Astrology rests on the principle of cosmic rays-induced DNA mutation.

The planetary gravitational field, along with the magnetic field, are combining their effect to reflect cosmic and gamma rays in a specific angle depending on the orbital path at the time of birth.

For example, if Jupiter is Virgo, that particular planetary/constellation alignment deflects and amplifies the amount of radiation received by humans chromosome during their most vulnerable stage — birth. Human beings being born between August 23 and September 22 are subject to the influence of a specific amount of radiation on their DNA.

The particular amount of cosmic and gamma rays exercises more control over adjacent proteins and rizomes in the peptide chain of the person’s DNA. The threshold of influence can be divided in 12 equal sectors of peptide modifification.

This gets translated by a person being more analytical, meticulous, intelligent, responsible, reliable and perfectionistic, even more, refined, polite and hygienic.

The same principle can be applied to every astrological sign, based on precise angular calculation and quantification of cosmic and gamma rays.

Immolation
Based on a desire to know what the marshmellow feels like while roasting in the campfire, immolation is the act of transforming onself into an inspiring lighthouse, using only gasoline and matches.

Defenestration
A sudden need for fresh air is encouraging you to jump out the window and try to fly like a bird. Free at last! (from the French word “fenêtre” — literally, “Out of the window”.

Trepanation
The gentle act of slowly drilling a hole in your head to release the pressure. This should stop those voices from barking orders in your head.

1. If Mozart had access to music sequencer, sampler and a good laptop, how different would have been his music?
2. If Genghis Khan had access to tanks, planes and machine guns, would we speak Mongolian in North American in 2008?
3. If Mithra (pre-christian persian god) had access to a good marketing team with TV and radio ads, would we celebrate a different holiday on December 25 of each year?
4. If the Internet had been around in the 1500s, would it have helped fight censorship and ignorance in the population of the “dark age”?
5. If the industrial revolution would have happened 1000 years earlier, would we live on a cleaner or on a totally devastated planet?

1. One of the guys gets handcuffed and naked. He then gets tattoed by 7 epileptic blind midgets.
2. 3 of the guys wearing bunny suits enter the carcass of a beached whale after loading it with TNT. The rest of the gang detonates it and laugh hysterically.
3. The whole gangs disguised themselves with fake robes, beards and explosive belts. They enter the Pentagone while screaming “Don’t shoot, we are just actors”, in arabic.
4. The whole gang goes to play poison dart blowguns in a small room after their brains had been surgically replaced by monkey brains. Nobody notice a difference.

For a limited time only, those genuine pseudo-replica of ancient meta-artefacts are available for bidding.

1. Skull of Napoleon as a teenager
2. Partially eaten Oatmeal that belonged to Gengis Khan
3. Julius Ceasar Pocket Watch
4. Ghandi’s Left Sock (comes in Small, Medium and Large)
5. Autographed Photograph of Alexander The Great

BID NOW and receive an Authentic Pterodactyl-Skin Designer Handbag.

“Reality is crossing an energy river by stepping on quantum rocks”

“Wisdom comes from knowing the limits of your own reality”

“Consciousness is to evolution what wisdom is to purpose”

“Logos without pathos is ethos-coated eros”

Quotes by DeliciouslyQuirky.com

Pets in Sweater

Nothing but 120 monthly glossy pages of pets in sweaters. This month: chinchillas in leather, goldfish in 100% wool jumpsuit and hamsters in turtlenecks.

Modern Yeti

Everything you ever wanted to know about the Yeti, including who he is dating, his favorite wine, his dream vacation destination, his life’s challenges and more!

Transylvanian Interior Decorating Ideas

What to do when a group  Night Walkers come for brunch? How to serve cold cuts to the living dead? What cheese goes well with A- blood? You’ll thank this monthly publication when you want to look good for your non-reflective neighbors!

Gullible Monthly

This month GREAT offer: buy the skull of Elvis as a child, how to get rich by sending us your money, 5 ways to loose weight by eating only delicious bacon fat and 25 great tips on getting your dreamhouse for free.

If you were transported back in time to, lets say, 1000CE or even 1500CE, how much of the 2008 knowledge could you explain? How many machines could you rebuild? How useful could you be as a person from the future? How much of your world could you explain to them? How different do you think you would be from them in your knowledge and belief system?

Could you explain to them:

1. Our monetary/banking system?
2. Our social structure and who is really in charge in 2008?
3. Our understanding of the solar system and the universe?
4. The major advancements or science in the past 100 years?
5. Basic knowledge on the human body?
6. How the modern car, train and planes work?
7. How our phone, TV, Microwave over, cell phone work?
8. What a computer is and does in term they would understand?

Could you build:

1. A rudimentary transportation device with a steam engine?
2. A telegraph to help them communicate?
3. A telescope, miscroscope or sextant?
4. A crane to help them build?

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1. Modify your DNA to become bioluminescent.
2. Implant subcutaneous receptors to change your skin colour at will. Lime green and sky blue hues will impress the most.
3. Carry a small speaker behind your head to repeat a whispered and slightly delayed version of your speech.
4. Travel with trained doves and every few minutes, start a sentence by: “According to the prophecy…”
5. Float 2 inches from the ground by wearing magnetic levitation shoes.
6. Travel with a genetically modified black dog to look like Cerberus, the 2-Headed-Dog-From-Hell and a mini-smoke machine.
7. Build an Aztec sacrificial altar in your office.
8. Ride a Grizzly bear to work.
9. Travel slow-motion with an entourage of leather-clad shaved-head sunglasse-wearing pale-faced giants.

Join our cult and roam the city at night. Not a people person? Don’t worry! Simple groans and window smashing are fine by us. You’ll appreciate our dressed-down attitude and open moral . Our motto is: If it moves, you can eat it!
The best thing: we are protected under the Freedom of Religion! It means you can tell people that you are a flesh-eating night scavenger and they have to respect your beliefs!

There is a widening knowledge chasm and we see a prevalence of simpler belief systems.

Before the advent of modern science, you could define the known reality in simple terms. You saw the Sun, the Moon, and rain — you felt the wind. Explanations for natural phenomenon were scarse.

As science evolves and complexifies itself, the general populace is less and less in touch with that “refined reality”. Ask people in the streets what is trigonometry and most people will tell you” it’s something you learn in school and it was boring”, without being able to elaborate much.

Now ask them what is a 6D Manifold, a virtual black holes, quantum computers, super string theory, or the benefits of nanotechnology. My guess is that you’ll get a lot or perplexed looks and no answers.

It seems some countries, such as the USA, have a significant part of their population dropping out of the complexification and reverting to simpler explanations. Instead of keeping with the ever developing branches of sciences, we hear the “God made it” explanation very often. Sometimes, it is disguised as pseudo-science as in the Creation Science and its spinoff, Intelligent Design.

What will happen in 50 years, when our understanding of the natural worl in 1000 more complex and layered as now? Will 80% of the population still practice superstitious rituals and not have a clue how things around them work? I think so.

Here are a few questions to help define what reality you live in. This is useful before starting a debate on human evolution, cosmology, history, religion, science, etc.

1. Do you believe the answers to everything are contained in a single book, written at least 2000 years ago?
2. Do you believe the Earth was formed less than 6000 years ago?
3. Do you believe in the laws of physics (gravity, electromagnetism, etc)?
4. Do you believe certain entities defy laws of physics?
5. Do you accept strange things and concepts because someone told you so, without seeking explanation or second opinions?
6. Do you believe in angels, giants, gosts, unicorns, leprecauns, hobbits, gnomes, etc
7. Do you consider science and scientists test their hypothesis and arrive at conclusion based on evidence, as impartially as possible?
8. Do you consider science and scientists are anti-God, liars, or evil?
9. Are you convinced you’ll spend 12 trillions years at least in paradise because you fulfilled 1 of the 8 conditions cited in the Bible (accepting Jesus as your savior)?
10. Do you believe everybody that doesn’t believe in the same god as you do, or use a different version of the book, or believe in a slightly different version of your religion will burn on hell forever?

If you answer yes to those questions, then any rational discussion with someone outside your group is very difficult.

1. I’m the hostage taker. Can John call you back as soon as I untie him?
2. Mr. Smith is not here but I’m naked and full of peanut butter. What are you wearing?
3. Mrs Monroe is not there, but may I interest you in Scientology?
4. I’m not doing so well… I just lost my job, my wife left with my
   6 kids, I was told last week I have AIDS and my dog died this morning.
   Can I help you with something?
5. What’s your home address? I’ll visit you tonight to get more information.

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How do you prove that God exist?

How do you prove aliens are real?

Even is you discover a proof of those things, what would constitute an irrefutable proof? If you take a photo or a video of a real UFO, people will say it’s a trick.

Your job, competences or background might also hinder your proof. If you are a professional photographer or graphic designer and you present a photo as proof of a miracle from God, or an Alien invasion, people will discredit it.

If you have a criminal background or have been caught lying, people will assume the proof is not real.

With the raise of technology power and ease, proofs will be harder to come by.

The children story of Jack and the Beanstock is really about humanity’s longing for a connection with God.

Jack represents the humans on earth, spiritually empoverished by the distance they created between themshelves and God.

One day, they get a magic bean — the seed they can grow to create a spiritual bridge to reach God.

They plant the seed in their heart and watch it grow beyond the clouds. They climb the beanstock and reach a castle in the Clouds (God’s Kingdom). Instead of being joyful to be in the presence of the divine, they steal from God.

Because of their arrogance and disbelief, the connection with God is lost again (they cut the beanstock).

Next time, we’ll explore the deep metaphysical root of the Little red Riding Hood, dating back to Ancient Egypt and the Mystery Religions.

As seen on TV!

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I want the old future!!! Not the current future!

I do want my jetpack, dome city, robot maid, flying car, underwater city, silver jumpsuit, ray gun, moon shuttle, sleep pod, meal in a pill and all.

I don’t want the future lead by pharmaceutical and other large corporations, sponsored and manipulated politicians, energy-saving freaks not knowing that fossil fuel companies control a large portion of politics, omnipresent and privacy-intrusive marketing monsters…

Not to be negative or anything, but in 1000 years, you’ll still have people in caves carrying old russian rocket launchers on their mules, believing in an archaic code of conduct based on a mythlogical god.

Ahhhh! The future! Which one do you like?

1. Change the basic assumptions of the universe.
2. Triangulate my cereal bowl using its own shadow.
3. Transmutate Silly Putty into lemon Jell-O.
4. Create, test and prove a whimsical version of the String Theory called the SillyString Theory.
5. Lunaform the Earth and Terraform the Moon. Move everybody to the new moon in their sleep and check if anyone notice the switch.
6. Find a cure to OverSeriousness by splicing Jeans into Daisy Dukes.
7. Write a Unified Theory Equation that would prove the existence of Nessie.
8. Convert myself to silicate-based lifeform.
9. Change the value if Pi from 2.1416 to to 2.1532. Observe the difference and giggle.
10. Change the structure of the Milky Way to have Earth at the center.

Synaptic Interfaced (Though-controlled) toys and interface are already being developed in lab in 2007. With more interest, research and funding, you’ll see thought visual association in a few years, resulting in a graphic representation of your thoughts.

At first, it will be coarse — the castle you think about will be represented by a generic castle image.

Later, the image will represent your thoughts in a more detailed way, including shapes, colours, motion, camera angles and transitions.

The “MindReaders” we had in the past were heavy headsets, with primitive electrodes that required gel to interface. Today, NeuroSky Inc. developed a dry electrode much smaller headset. In the future, no headset will be required as remote readers will be developed.

Applications for MindReading will emerge. Military and marketing will be the most funded, although medical applications with Autism, Coma, and paraplegic patients will also exist.

Military applications will be able to sense the intentions of the enemy. Even without a working long distance remote MindReader network, the first versions will use local readers based in small drones (flyers, crawlers, swimmers, etc) capable of accessing exact location where a suspect is. Coupled with the merged NSA, FBI and CIA databases, these MindReading applications will put the thoughts in context of the information known.

One application that will exist but be frown upon is the MindTapping (listening, flagging and cross-referencing of thoughts) of civilians by government agencies in the name of homeland security. Random thought sweeps will be executed and will serve as basis for further investigations.

Marketing applications will also be very popular. Stores will use MindReaders to rearrange their catalogue based on the clients moods, preference and shopping.

1. Prices will be adjusted by dishonest merchants based on the urgency of your need (you tried 7 stores for that wedding dress and the store you are in is the last one you can visit before the wedding).
2. Smart fabric and Mindreaders will present you only the colours, styles and prints you like.
3. MindReaders and your car navigation system will point you washrooms and restaurants based on your needs.
4. Thoughts transcripts, images and movies will be archives Google-Thoughts will be the first major company to harvest that new information source.

Legal issues about privacy will arise but the potential for military and marketing will outweigh them with powerful lobbying efforts.

The future is thoughtfully friendly!

1. Find a universal need you can cater to. This will shape your approach; This will be used in your branding/marketing efforts.
2. Name your religion. Find a cool name that sounds ancient, like the Adorators of Hakballah, The VicciCode or Repenters of Atlantis Faith.
3. Find a new interpretation on prevalent existing religious texts OR write a new spiritual reference book that, while maintaining continuity with prevalent existing religions, myths and philosophies, departs from them in a significant way. That new book should be a mix of common sense, basic life experiences, anecdotes, unverifiable claims and hard to pronounce names.
4. Rename yourself. No one will follow Bob Smith, the Archdeacon of Hakballah.
5. As early as possible, find celebrity sponsorship. Don’t worry, it’s not as hard as it sounds. Just buy a newspaper and call celebrities who already sponsor Psychic Hotlines. Offer them $50.
6. Create rituals, dress codes, and greeting gestures.
7. Start your PR early. Attribute miracles to your deity, preferable out-of-phase naturally occuring, statistically insignificant but emotionally charged events.
8. Make claims. It doesn’t matter if they are unproven, false, out of context or irrelevant. See Rael.
9. Speak properly. Practice political talk, mixed with emotionally but non-committal words and spiritual concepts (a spiritual OfficeSpeak): “The transcendence of the non-litteral Word of the Great Luminant is the quintessence of the SubMan archetype“.
10. Be invited to Oprah. We cannot stress this one enough.
11. Create your own media outlet.
12. Make sure your new beliefs are similar enough to others. That way, you’ll gain free press in their media outlets.
13. Create a sound financial model. Make sure all level of worship, social involvement, public appearances, etc bring you money.
14. Enjoy! You now have power over your fellow men & women (whatever your preference is), public opinion, and media. Life is good.

1. Drive a 26-foot Santa Clause float.
2. Print business cards with “Ambassador to Arkhaministan”. When asked where that country is, say: “Right between Murkhistan and United Republic of Tuaniman”.
3. When asked what you do, reply: I’m a astrocosmometaphysicist, part-time brain surgeon as well as a shameless terraforming hobbyist. What do YOU do?”
4. Wear a large bald eagle feather hat, mandragore root perfume, white tiger shirt, panda fur pants, baby seal socks and galapagos turtle shell shoes.
5. Talk about real estate trends on Phobos.
6. Tell that really funny anecdote about your experience on genetic mutations of monkey-men.
7. Brag about reading deliciouslyquirky.com

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1. Everybody is created equal.
2. TV shows are not mere lures for advertisers.
3. You can have an amazing lean sculpted body by using a machine 3 minutes/day for a week.
4. Politics is never about secretive schemes for a few to gain money or power.
5. If it’s printed; it must be true.
6. All events reported on mass media happened as they are telling you.
7. The camera doesn’t lie.
8. Anybody can gain a good grasp of complex issues by watching the TV news.
9. Conflicts are always about non-trivual issues and always the last resort.
10. People who march in the street always fully understand what the issue is.
11. We are not pawns of religion, the government or large corporations.
12. You have a good grasp on reality. Really.

“Bulkering” is a neologism that can be defined as “Putting together several complex ideas, oversimplifying and omitting large portion of the argument, discrediting sources for frivolous reasons, then thinking you have a good grasp on the subject”. “Bulkering” is different from aggregation, clustering, simplification, generalisation or good old “one-track mind”.

Here is how it’s played:

1. Take a complex topic, such as geopolitics, global climate change, space exploration, or the origins of life.
2. Absord the least amount of factual data or in-depth knowledge on the topic as possible.
3. If you can’t avoid information, listen to arguments without weighting them or factoring in the lack of knowledge, the motives, the affiliations or the relevance of the examples presented by the source.
4. Swiftly discredit a source if he/she presents a different point of view, if they have a typo in their book or online post, or if they ever did anything in their past that could cast any doubt in your mind, even if the action was 50 years ago and absolutely non-relevant to the topic, or if they look strange to you. If you find such a flaw, disregard them quickly by using the name of the newly discovered flaw. Example1: He might have a PDH in the relevant field and worked in that field for 50 years, but he’s gay. Example2: Don’t try to impress me with your numbers and big words, because you’re just a drugee (after uncovering that the source smoke pot 30 years ago).
5. Discredit an argument or a theory if any part of it is found to be unproven or false.
6. If anyone argue with you on the topic, be sure to impervious to resonning and snap back with a proverb or a clever line starting by: “my mama always told me…”
7. Sit comfortably and relax. You have a good grip on reality.

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Order now and receive the Dejargoniser®! That earpiece descrambles the most obsure techobabble and officespeak. It evens works on level 4 marketing cryptic buzzword charades! All you hear is clear, well structured language that makes sense!

We usually associate the word weapon with death or great pain. The goal of of most weapons is not necessarely to permanently destroy the ennemy but to place him under custody for capture trial or interrogation, or for him to stop attacking us. To achieve those goals, one would be better using one of the following non-lethal weapon:

1. High-Velocity Marshmellow Gun: Also available in Pumpkin Puree.
2. Blue Cheese Grenade: Coats the ennemy with blue cheese paste.
   Also come in Mustard, Concentrated Garlic and Rancid Milk.
3. The Sleeper: A loudspeaker whispers Advanced Calculus Thermodynamic Equations with a deep monotonous voice. Also comes in Macroeconomics and “Dissertation on the Abstract Non-Colonialism Aspects of Postmodern Philosophical Existentialism, from the Pseudo non-Involment point of view”.

We could make our bodies better by unblocking the regenerative capabilities (see salamander) in our cells to be able to grow back limbs.

If you have the ability to grow limbs by unlocking functions in the cells… maybe you can send signals to alter the blue print and grow limbs/organs according to new specs, such as changing efficiency , dimensions, appearance, etc. AND at that point, you’ll have companies that will sell cell coding templates to match your favorite celebrity!

Information Architecture and Visualization is getting more and more important since we are exposed to so much data every day.

InfoLife (Internet 3.0) should be a system that can capture, archive, retrieve, sort and display multiformat data in a way that works in real life. That system should be mobile, real-time, simple to use and be able to use human common sense.

Example:
You hear a good song on the radio. You want to remember the song’s name but also know what else the band did and if the band is touring in your city soon.

You are shopping and see a jacket you like in a store. You want to know if another store within a 5km radius that is opened right now has the same item cheaper.

You are meeting someone at a networking event. The face-recognition system starts and display info on that person, along with websearch on what he wrote, companies he worked with, last time you met him, etc.

Those applications are beyond database queries, RSS aggregates or fuzzy logic basic software applications. They provide you with real-time options based on multiple factors weighted by context. They only display relevant information based on your situation, tone, heart rate, time of day, etc.

security: Can record and flag visible and invisible events, daytime, nighttime or any poor visibility in airport, stadiums, warehouses, etc.
scientific: Thousands of WitnessCubes could be placed outside to monitor climate change, iceshelves movements and Rain Forest status
entertainment: The ultimate webcam. Can recreate the visual, audio and olfactive of a remote environment.

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Smart Roads would help drivers in several ways.

1) Heated Pavement would melt the snow and ice, thus reducing the risks and saving millions of dollars each year in snow removal and salting.
2) Phosporescent Pavement would help see the road at night and in fog.
3) Embedded sensors would detect congestion as well as stopped vehicules. A vehicule that is stopped for some time would tragger a response from cameras and emergency crews.

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In this new religion, you’ll learn that:

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1) Embed in cellphones, PDAs, BlackBerries, MP3 players, and other wearables to emit a frequency that will activate a specific region of the brain that will stimulate the appetite for a brown, bubbly, sugar-loaded acidic cold beverage, or to drive in a manly army-like uncomfortable but aggressive looking vehicle.

2) Develop free clothing items like coats, pants, tshirt, capes and hats that have the ability to connect to a main ad server and display moving ads right on it. (same principle as the ad-sponsored software we have now). All homeless people be wearing warm clothes but will be transformed into walking billboards. Kids will love that fashion too. You can have a scene of a new movie or an cool ad displayed on you clothes…

3) Engineered food that taps into the memory cells to stimulate purchases of products based on your own past (cinnamon buns of your grandmother, grey paste from the highschool cafeteria, etc.)

4) Develop cross promotion packages: the guy on the Crest toothpaste is wearing a visible Timex watch while brushing. He’s also smelling like CK1 perfume on the package. mmm see… alot to possibilities if you want to control people even more… Imagine designing, testing and marketing those products!

5) Dynamic E-Ink packages that are linked to a CrossLinked Marketing Database that call your name when you walk by, suggest a use based on your lifestyle, reminds you of the mess that happened when your used a competitor’s brand…

The future WILL be friendly! 😉

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I’m wondering how difficult or possible it is to create your own fully legal and recognized country.

Someone did it in 1967. It’s called Sealand and it’s 10km off the coast of England on a small concrete platform built during the WWII (http://www.sealandgov.org/ for details).

Your own contry means you have diplomatic immunity, make your own civil, criminal and tax laws. Recent reports claim a new company called Havenco plans to introduce a ” data haven” in Sealand (http://www.globalpolicy.org/nations/sealand.htm).

How would you call your country? What would the laws be? What would be the incentives for companies and individuals to immigrate to your contry (assuming you have place for them). Would you make it a cash cow by allowing all sorts of criminal activities, an utopian land with peace and harmony or a place just for you?

1) Would you notice if the left and right side of your body would have been surgically switched (without side-effects of scars)?

2) How would you react if you learn that you really know nothing about your life from your birth to 10 years old because all the “memories” you have are false-memories from doctored pictures, movies and audio tracks.

3) What would do if you had the ability to travel in time only 3 times. What would you witness or change?

4) What is your threshold of “label reversal”? What would you have to learn about someone that would invert the label you placed on that person?
Example1: you know a really good person — smart, charitable, funny, kind, generous — but you then learn that the person is an organ harvester.
Example2: you read that someone is a serial killer. You then learn that the same person devoted his life to helping people in homeless shelters.

PS: An OpenThinker is someone who doesn’t take reality for granted and like to explore the underlying structure of it.

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While waiting for the full Exoskeletons that will allow us to run and leap like a gazelle, lift as much as an elephant and attach a multitude of add-ons like a chainsaw, a mining drill of a bazooka to our arms. let’s think about a more accessible version.

Heavyduty Pogo Sticks fastened with large straps of Velcro to each legs would allow us to jump higher and, with proper training, leap like a gazelle.

You lay down on your back, tie a large elastic band to both Pogo Sticks and you have a powerful slighshot-grenade launcher that doesn’t need costly propulsion system.

A tear-resistant inflatable bubble covering the whole suit would allow the fighter to bounce down a hill faster than a car or knock down ennemies like a bowling ball.

So with part available in hardware and toy stores, you can get an useful entry-level Exoskeleton. Combine that with a GPS, NightVision Goggles, and a SuperSoaker full of Citric Acid and you’re good to go.

Ever wanted to have a real excuse not to go to work? Ever wished you could make hillarious twitchy faces?

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Comes with a 15 minute video, clamps, a small saw, a cranial hammer, 5 metal punches with our logo (to mark the zones you edited), a bib (you’ll thank us later for that one) as well as an admission form for our new top-of-the-line phychiatric ward.

You’ll never have so much fun with power tool!

Science usually tries to analyze and define reality to extract patterns to predict behavior. We are not yet tapping into the underlying code. Predicting the behavior is only the beginning. Things will start to get exciting when we discover the backdoor to reality, when we can change the default values and change the code.

A team of metascientists from the labs of DeliciouslyQuirky.com found out that a precise combination of Chackra sounds, coloured lights at a frequency of 427Hz and a quick interprative dance about a squirrel allows to change the default value t (number of hours in a day). They reset it to 37.

Breaking News
What is believed to be the first prototype of The Bionic Man has been found in a warehouse in Alabama over the week-end. The prototype, albeit crude, is inpiring in its ingeniosity. Receipts found on site are showing a total investment of $782.53, far from the $6M invested in Colonel Steve Austin a few years later.

The prototype’s purpose appears to be a mystery: an 8-track was embedded in the lower addomen, Xmas lights was inserted under the skin to create a “glow”, speakers were attached to the volunteer’s chest and astroturf covered the whole body. Our scientists are trying to determine if other prototypes have been developed.

We’ll keep you posted for future developments of that story.

An ActiveWall is a wall that not only has variable opacity (to trace windows where you want on the wall), but also can display information. That information can be colour, an image to simulate a texture (wallpaper, paint or various paint finishes) or a feed (from TV, Internet or webcam).

You will be able to download themes from known interior designers to decorate your home and it will change the colours, wall illumination, window placement, music and smells of the house (synthetic odors).

You will also be able to subscribe to high-res webcam feeds and display it on the whole wall or room. Imagine your entire wall displaying a realistic real-time moving image, smells and sounds of a field in Manitoba, the French Alps or downtown Tokyo. It will feel as if your entire room was teleported in those places.

Combine any word from the following list: ware, shell, pod, cast, stream, bot, open-source, emulator and scripted to any acronym (as long as the acronym doesn’t form a word).

Example: My open-source emulator botware is streaming to my scripted streamcast in RFTY config.

Voila! Now quickly slip this gem into a conversation, wink and leave. You are sure to impress.

1. Fuel cell to cease dependance with oil suppliers and greatly reduce smog in cities.
2. Adaptable shell to carry more people or take less space if driving alone.
3. Adaptable contour seats with accupressure for greater comfort and safety (keep driver alert and relaxed)
4. Computer that evaluate the driving risks based on weather, mechanical status, road conditions (pavement quality, construction, etc) and make suggestions based on driving experience, mental state, fatigue, car noise level (kids), etc
5. Computer would compensate for driver physical state by altering cabin oxygen level, music level, etc
6. Active windshield would have information overlay and would enhance edges and display tags on objects to enhance visibility
7. Glider. A glider is not affected as much by pavement conditions, use and friction. Can also go over snow, sand and offroad without getting stuck.

Although the idea of a personal flying machine small enough to fit in a backpack is extremely appealing, you must consider the following:

1) We’d have to wear aluminum pants, which are probably not really comfy.

2) Engine failure at 75 feet in the air is not cool.

3) To be useful, a JetPack would have to go fairly fast. At that speed, birds, tree tops and clothes lines come mighty quickly.

4) People would use them as safely as they use boats or ATV— cluless and drunk. Imagine a group of drunken fratboys with their JetPack on a windy day in the busy downtown core…

Optica will be a optical digital implant that will include a multispectrum camera — with selectable wavelenghts from visible, radar, ultraviolet and infrared — that is linked to an image enhancer and an online database to cross-reference and interpret to images. Storage and transfer is done via another wireless implant.

One way to increase advertisement relevance would be to create movies and commercials with blue-screen placeholders and an upload/merging system. The local or seasonal content would then be hotlinked into those placeholders based on location, age group, community, etc. We could then insert local city landmarks, logos, crowds with different target age groups, taxi colours, etc. Different segments or scenes could also be used to adapt the movie or commercial to a specific audience.

You’ve probably heard of Whisper Marketing, a form of viral marketing where hired people let you overhear their conversation about a new product.

The next step is RealWhisper Marketing, where motion activated small speakers will be placed in hundred of bushes across the city and litterally whisper brandnames and short promotions to you as you walk by. You’ll hear a whisper coming from nowhere saying “juicy BigMac”. You’ll turn around, looking to see someone, then dismiss it. But your brain will have absorbed it.

The following step will be to layer the short whisper promo on top of TV programs, like an audio Brunswick TV. If you have a home theater, that whisper layer will come from the back speaker — the ones closer to you.

First, there is the slight problem of computer power, which is required to map, store and transfer the entire atomic structure of the body fast enough to capture an instant picture of 1,800,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 electrons going at 2,200 kilometers per second.

Second, there is the logistical problem. How do you make sure you don’t reappear in a huge rock, in the middle of the ocean or in someone else? You would need to know the exact layout of your target location. What is a bee or a leaf flies in between the snapshot of the target location and the structural transfer? What would forbide several people to materialize in the exact same spot at the same time? Could you schedule your materialization for next week, and stay in limbo on a hard drive until then?

Third, there is the legal/privacy problem. How do you avoid someone to teleport in someone’s shower, or bank vault?

Forth, there is the data integrity problem. How do you make sure that the source and target are the same person, even if the atomic structure is the same? Would you have to go through a series of test each time to make sure that your memories, behaviour and thoughts are the same as before the transfer? What if they are not the same? Would you keep a copy (backup) of yourself for security purpose? If we can do that, it means we can use the Teleporter as a human photocopier… We could create an entire army of ourself. We could send multiple copies of ourself to different locations. Even if official Teleportation Zones would be programmed to not make multiple copies, the black market versions could have overrides…

The new Internet should be immersive in the true sense. It should merge information with our physical world to help us make better choices. RFID and immersive games are 2 of the applications of that but the InfoLife will go far beyond.

Example of applications will be:
Driving-Assistant: Overlay of Google-map type of information on your windshield to give directions based on real-time traffic, road closures, points of interests, etc. It would display arrows directly on the street to guide your drive and would point to the location you are looking for.

Consumer products: Mix of secure RFID and related internet information, to display related products info, recent warnings or recalls, recipes, assembly instruction, comparison charts, etc.
Security: XRay glasses with nighvision and multi-spectral CCDs coupled with face-recognition software and linked to criminal database as well as context-sensitive feeds from various blogs, will help security personals identity treats in a crowd.

Those are just a few applications of what the proper use of information can do for us.

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